Assorted Bar Stool Musings

IRVING, Tex. - From unread playbooks to soliciting prostitutes, the Cowboys have their own March Madness. Assorted musings from atop my Valley Ranch barstool. ...

ITEM: North Texas should be a 50-50 chance to host the 2011 Super Bowl.

The Metroplex is presently a 33-percent chance, because we're up again Indianapolis is up against Phoenix and Dallas for the '11 Super Bowl. (Doesn't that look weird, that "'11"?) Bids are due April 2. You likely already know North Texas' position: New stadium, good weather (maybe), central location. You likely already understand Arizona's position: New stadium, good weather (definitely), a franchise so crappy that this is as close as Phoenix will EVER get to a Super Bowl.

But what in the hell in Indianapolis' position?

The only reason people hold Christmas in Indianapolis is that they cannot afford to celebrate in Cancun. There is simply no reason for the NFL to conduct its holiday in a non-resort city. Indy bigshot Fred Glass is leading a committee working on assembling the bid, and he talks of the many improvements the city plans, including a second practice facility comparable to the Colts facility on the city's west side.

"It will have to have a bubble over it because the NFL needs it to be covered," said Fred, who gets it wrong.

As far as I'm concerned (and by the way, I say this as a native of frigid Minnesota who absolutely understands the business end of a snow shovel): It's not the Indianapolis practice field that will have to have a bubble over it.

It's the whole damn city.

ITEM: We go to the Bill Parcells Family Tree to prove again you can't believe everything you read about Bad Boy propaganda.

I come not to bury Richie Anderson, the former Cowboys "Parcells Guy'' who was hired as an assistant in Arizona and then immediately fired after his first coaching act was the alleged solicitation of a prostitute. But I damn sure don't come to praise him, either.

Instead I'll use this space to remind us all again that human beings are complex, that black-and-white issues come in gray, that Newt Gingriches are everywhere. ... yes, even in the Inner Circle of Bill Parcells, who bills himself as a hero who can clean up football and is instead, at worst, a ringleader of behavioral hypocricy, and at best. ... human.

ITEM: We've already mad fun of the mainstream media's grab-ass approach to the Julius Jones trade story, a Philly paper getting national credit for it and then the Dallas paper wanting the world to know that, no -- even though the rumor seems about as stable as Britney Spears' medulla oblongata -- WE had it first.

And now this: The co-worker of the guy at the Dallas paper who insisted the story belonged to them is distancing the paper from the story. First, Jean-Jacques Taylor wrote, "I don't mean to brag, but we've been reporting that in various mediums, the blog and the Cowboys newsletter, for months.

A couple of days later, Jacques' cubicle-mate, Todd Archer, wrote, "While national outlets report the Cowboys have Julius Jones on the trading block, the Cowboys owner and GM said the team is not shopping Jones.''

It's "Don't look at me. .. blame 'national outlets.'

It's OUR story. It's THEIR story. It's NOBODY'S story.

It's quite likely NOT a story at all.

ITEM: The Dallas Morning News also reported breathlessly that Terrell Owens did not have a full grasp of the 2006 Cowboys playbook. This is distressing in a sense, even though I've long assumed that T.O. is the sort of chap who writes books without reading books.

Maybe this story (assuming the News actually got it right) speaks to Owens' lack of devotion to the cause. Maybe it is significant in light of his sleeping-in-meetings problem. Maybe the birthday parties and the selfishness and the tantrums and the distrust and the suicide stories and the whatnot join his playbook ignorance as symptoms of a larger illness. Or heck, maybe Our Wide Receiver simply lacks a certain "intellectually curiosity'' -- and a guy can even grow up to be President without that asset!

But the story raises a medium-sized issue without addressing the elephant in the room. The concern now isn't Terrell Owens' knowledge of the 2006 Cowboys playbook.

The concern is Terrell Owens' knowledge of the 2007 Cowboys playbook.

ITEM: Goodbye, Crazy Ray. I'm thankful you had 15 more years after that long-ago-forgotten incident at training camp in Austin when Emmitt Smith and his un-govenor'ed golf cart almost tackled you permanently!

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