One Plate Cleared ... Another Overflowing

ADDISON, Texas -- While the Cowboys' plate of coordinators seems to be awfully full, an ex-Cowboys coordinator is happy to have cleared the table – especially because the main course was "rat.''

The tail. … er, tale. … of Todd and Chrissy Haley and their legal wrangling with McDonald's in one we've covered from the start here at TheRanchReport.com. And as of this week, it is over.

From what I can gather, with a trial about to ensue, the fast-food giant said "uncle'' and settled out of court with the Haleys – about as close as we're going to get to an admission that Mrs. Haley, the wife of former Cowboys assistant Todd Haley, did indeed in 2006 open up the lid on the Bacon Ranch Salad she'd ordered from a McDonald's in Southlake, Texas, only to discover a dead rodent, about the size of her fist, resting in peace among the lettuce leaves.

"As per the agreement, all that I am allowed to say is that the case has been dismissed," Haley family attorney Cas Casterline tells TheRanchReport. "Other than that, I am not allowed to comment."

Therefore, no dollar figures are allowed to be released. But know that the Haleys' lawsuit was for $1.7 million – more, the family once told us, to bring attention to the case than because of any money-grubbing. And of course, Coach Haley is doing very well financially already. He left the Cowboys after the 2006 season to become the offensive coordinator of the Arizona Cardinals. And this offseason, as first reported in this space, he was to interview for the head-coaching job in Miami under new boss Bill Parcells before the Cardinals interceded and upped his salary into the $1 million range in order to retain him.

So Todd is secure. The family likely received a payday that at least reflects "principle.'' And McDonald's stays out of the newspapers (because if you think that too-hot cup of coffee lawsuit drew headlines, what do you think a dead rat would've done to Mayor McCheese's re-election campaign?).

And Chrissy Haley is likely to ever visit a Mickey D's again, probably not all of Arizona, but damn sure not in Southlake, Texas.

There are, however, other coaching families that DO continue to entertain the possibility of visiting North Texas.

In addition to Jason Garrett of course staying (that's one coordinator and one aspiring head coach) and Wade Phillips staying (that's two coordinators, in essence, and one arguably lame-duck head coach) and Brian Stewart staying (a third coordinator, though he's got to feel a little threatened right now), the Cowboys have brought aboard secondary coach Dave Campo (a fourth coordinator and third head coach, in terms of his resume), they have brought aboard as the D-line coach Todd Grantham (a fifth coordinator, in terms of his resume), and they have been in discussions with Dom Capers (a sixth credentialed coordinator and a fourth head-coach type) and Gregg Williams (apparently now bound for Jacksonville, but if not a seventh credentialed NFL coordinator and a fifth head-coach type.)

That's SEVEN coordinator-types and FIVE head-coaching types. That's a lot of experience, a lot of varied ideas, a lot of talent. … and if it works, a Murderer's Row of Coaches.

But if there is conflict? Jerry can load all the kids into the back of his limo and take ‘em to McDonald's for Happy Meals. …

But please hold the Bacon Ranch Salads.

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