Parcells Robs Dallas of ... Nothing

IRVING, Texas -- A monster trade-up with Bill Parcells outfoxing Darren McFadden-lovin' Jerry? Secret connections that meant Parcells would rob Dallas of Flozell Adams?

Inside knowledge that would allow the all-powerful Parcells to construct an aquamarine-brick road from Valley Ranch to South Beach allowing him to transfer the magic from his old team to his new team, thus creating the "Dallas Dolphins?"

Didn't happen.

Isn't gonna happen.

Blame the Mythology of Bill Parcells – combined, I guess, with another myth that paints the truly brilliant Jerry Jones as some sort of a just-off-the-turnip-truck hillbilly. Those misguided characterizations caused many a Cowboys observer to assume that the ex-Dallas coach would somehow sink his teeth into Valley Ranch and suck it dry. Now, Parcells has long teeth. And he's kind of a scary monster. And it might require a silver stake in his heart to finally get him to quit un-retiring.

But he's no vampire.

The real impact of Parcells' predicted "attack'' on the Cowboys?

He got our backup nose tackle and he got a guy who used to be our third-string tight end.

InfalliBill, you crafty SOB!

Parcells is spending his owner's dough on the first day of NFL free agency. He's giving quarterback Josh McCown more than $3 mil a year.

He's giving a guard named Justin Smiley $25 mil. He's giving a defensive tackle named Randy Starks $21 million. He's signing wide receiver Ernest Wilford. And wide receiver David Kircus. And linebacker Reggie Torbor. And maybe linebacker Calvin Pace. Oh, and that dirty dog Parcells is even getting Sean Ryan, the Cowboy-turned-Jet.

The Cowboys traded Jason Ferguson to Miami for a sixth-round pick. So Bill gets a "Parcells Guy.'' (Dallas and Miami will swap sixth-round picks this year and the Cowboys will receive Miami's sixth-rounder in ‘09.)

Does that constitute "raping'' the Cowboys roster? Not exactly, in as much as the Cowboys were wanting to free themselves $2.4 million on this year's salary cap with the deal, made even more possible because of the emergence at nose tackle of Jay Ratliff and the midseason addition of Tank Johnson.

Heck, of all the Dolphins/Cowboys bodies that exchange cities, it's a decent bet that the most notable one will be Zach Thomas, who transfers our way.

Now, a few more Cowboy names might visit with Parcells, too. But they will be Cowboys who are not in Dallas' plans. (Would it be ironic if Parcells decided he suddenly liked Julius Jones again?) And the Miami roster will obviously be much different than it was a year ago.

But whatever improvement Parcells musters, it will not be at the expense of Jerry, it will not be with the help of Flozell, and it will have no impact on the Cowboys whatsoever.

Unless, that is, you really, really miss Fergie and Sean Ryan.

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