Post-Mini-Camp Notebook

The draft is done. One minicamp is, too (and we've got the schedule for the next workouts). Time to empty our notebook, starting with the question: Now that we've survived the all those fake projected NFL drafts, were they really anything more than just "mocksterbation''?

ITEM: I don't have permission to reveal much yet; the two players' agents want to pick through my conversations with the guys before we go ahead and write it. So I'll just tease you a little bit:

There is no shortage of superstar NFL defensive linemen that would like to leave their present clubs to become Cowboys. One of the two guys is not a perfect fit because he's a 4-3 guy. The other one, though, is to die for. And he'd just about die to be in Dallas.

Stay tuned.

ITEM: My skillionth effort to prove to you that Jerry Jones is a genius: Hanging around this weekend's rookie minicamp at Valley Ranch: Emmitt Smith to advise running backs; Roger Staubach to comment on some kids' character; Barry Switzer to tap the keg.

Jerry knows how to throw a minicamp! They were a few speakers and Snoop Dogg away from Mitch-a-palooza.

ITEM: I say this as a mediot long viewed as a defender of Cowboys misbehavior: Marvin Harrison may be Exhibit 1,900,765 of how you can't always easily define a "good guy'' vs. a "bad guy.''

ITEM: Your reaction to the news about backup QB Richard Bartel's weight change reveals whether you are a glass-is-half-empty Cowboys fan or a glass-is-half-full Cowboys fan. Bartel has dropped 30 pounds since last season?

a) Wow! What a hard worker! He must've really spent a lot of time tailoring his body to the needs of the team!

b) Bartel weights 230 now. He lost 30 pounds. Wow. … last year he must've looked like John Daly with his shirt off.

ITEM: Dave Campo is back. … and so is HBO's Hard Knocks.

Coincidence?

ITEM: Jerry on Felix: "He's got one of those nice bubble butts.''

We all know exactly what it means. But just like the cheerleaders being "the pick of the litter,'' and just like Aikman "looks good in the shower,'' … well. … you can take the boy out of Arkansas insurance sales, but you can't take the Arkansas insurance sales out of the boy.

ITEM: Here's the tentative schedule for Dallas Cowboys OTAs and the minicamp:

May 20, 21 and 22 OTAs (5/21 tentatively scheduled for media access)

May 27, 28 and 29 OTAs (5/28 tentatively scheduled for media access)

June 3, 4 and 5 OTAs (6/4 tentatively scheduled for media access)

June 10, 11 and 12 OTAs (6/11 tentatively scheduled for media access)

June 17, 18 and 19 Minicamp (open to the media)

ITEM: I found the WMDs. Jerry's stashing 'em. Worthless Multiple Draftpicks.

Just kidding.

ITEM: Emmitt on MB3: I think he spends a lot of energy that may not be necessary. I'm all about putting your heart into it. But you're doing a lot of kicking, running up, bucking and you're exerting a lot of energy. We need you for four quarters – and I'm going to say ‘we' because I'm a Cowboy, too: We need you for four quarters. If Marion has to carry the load for four quarters, there's no way he can handle it.''

Good stuff. Of course, Emmitt, that's one "leopard who can't change his stripes.''

Maybe we should work on another Cowboy's style. Here's Emmitt on Pacman: As long as you're not killing anybody, getting anybody shot at and going to jail, then I don't have any issues."

Now, that seems a tad more realistic.

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