GLENDALE, Ariz. -- The first thing that catches my eye, for some reason, is Miss Nevada.
I am not surprised that Miss Nevada is here. I don't wonder if she's lost or what happened to Miss Arizona or anything else, because this is Super Bowl Media Day, where almost anything goes.
Her name is Veronica Grabowski, and she says she's doing a video blog for 920 ESPN Radio out of Las Vegas. She clearly has a face for television, not radio, but I'm a gentleman, so I keep the notion to myself.
The Patriots are scheduled to hit the field in about five minutes. They go from noon-1 p.m. The Giants will go from 2 p.m.-3 p.m. By 3 o'clock I will have a notebook filled with juicy material, almost none of its pertaining to the game.
We are at the University of Phoenix Stadium, where in four days the Patriots and Giants will play in Super Bowl XLII. But for now, we are on a sidelines between the field and the stands, where podiums line the way, each one hosting a player.
There are about a dozen of them, so the rest of the players mingle freely, some videotaping teammates, others holding microphones, some simply looking for hot women to share their experience.
"Oh man," Richard Seymour smiles, settling into his chair. "This never gets old. It's a necessity. It sells the game. We enjoy it. We always come up with a Top 5 questions that are the best and worst."
Somebody considers this an opening. "If you could be a tree," he says, "what tree would you be?"
Seymour doesn't blink. "A redwood."
He's obviously been through this before.
Everybody is here. ESPN has somewhere in the neighborhood of 12,000 reporters here. Every time I turn around, there's a different one. Rachel Nichols. Hank Goldberg. Chris Berman. On and on it goes. Nichols checks her yellow notepad for the question and steps onto the podium to cozy next to Seymour. The perks of being the "Worldwide Entertainment Leader."
I just remembered. Miss Nevada wasn't the first person to catch my eye. That would be Ines Gomez Mont. She's from Mexico City representing a station called TV Azteca.
Oh yeah, and she's wearing a wedding dress.
I first see her approaching the entrance, through the airtight security and down the stadium steps into Media Day. Being a bit naive, and kind of stupid, I first think that she's decided to get married on the premises. Then it dawns on me, fortunately before I share my marriage theory with anyone, that she's a walking gag, on hand to soak up as much attention for herself and her shameless employer.
Before we spend any more time with Mont, check out Tom Brady expertly handling every question.
"My purpose in life?" he repeats. "That's a deep question."
Brady pauses. "You know what," he says finally, "I throw a football, and I happen to do that good enough to get here and to have a platform."
For a guy who rarely speaks to the New England media, Randy Moss is terrific in front of a crowd. He nicely declines when questions about his past are raised. But he's introspective on several topics. He smiles, he laughs and he never scowls.
A kid wearing a red shirt that reads, "Scholastic News; Scholastic Kids Press Corps" is interviewing backup guard Billy Yates. The boy's name is Brock Domann of Colorado Springs, and when he's asked why and how he's here, the cub reporter says, "My dad's a sports agent."
Pats receiver Donte Stallworth steps onto the top row of an adjacent bleachers to make sure he's seen by Moss. Stallworth heard that Moss has claimed he's the fastest receiver on the team. Before Stallworth says anything, Moss spots him.
"What you have to say, (number) 18?"
"Who is the fastest receiver on the New England Patriots team?" Stallworth shouts.
"I'd have to say – Randy Moss," Moss replies.
Stallworth asks another question and Moss dismisses him.
At about this time Gomez Mont, the bride-reporter, moseys up to Patriots coach Bill Belichick. I'm figuring this will become my favorite moment of the day. I'm not disappointed.
"I want to marry Tom Brady," Gomez Mont says to Belichick in her Spanish accent.
"Go talk to Tom Brady," Belichick responds comfortably.
"You think I'm better than Giselle?" she asks.
That's when Belichick, without missing a beat, responds with the zinger of the day.
"I wouldn't go that far," he says, and Gomez Mont slinks away.
The New England Patriots media session is over.
The Ken & Kevin Khronicles: Tuesday
The Giants Beat Top Stories
Behind Enemy Lines: Los Angeles RamsThe Giants Beat's Scott Thompson goes Behind Enemy Lines to see the latest and greatest with the L.A. Rams.
The Giants Beat8:38 AM
Game Preview: Giants vs. RamsThe Giants Beat covers everything you need to know about the Giants first regular season game in London since 2007.
The Giants Beat8:12 AM
Cover 2: Top 2 Storylines for Giants vs. RamsThe Giants Beat details the top two storylines surrounding Big Blue's battle in London.
The Giants Beat8:04 AM
Week 7 Fantasy Slant: Giants vs. RamsThe Giants Beat takes a look ahead at who will be the top performers for Fantasy Owners as the Giants take on the Rams in London.
The Giants BeatWednesday at 8:52 AM
SUBSCRIBE TODAY: 3-months for Price of 1The New York Giants season is in full swing and for Week 7 we're offering a special deal for new The Giants Beat subscribers!
The Giants BeatTuesday at 1:02 PM