The best decision (for me), is to wait until after the [Cleveland] game. For myself, the hardest part about this deal is that I can't just will myself to do things right now. I have to be smart and that's what I'm trying to do.
I'm trying to listen to the advice of the people who are around me, who know better than I know. Other people have my best interests in mind, and I have my best interests in mind, but sometimes you need eyes outside your own.
This week I felt like I could get back out there on the field with the team.
I feel myself getting better. I don't think confidence has ever been an issue, because I've always felt like I can go out there.
You guys know me, and my attitude in the past has always been that I'm going to go out there until it's stupid [to do so], and that's what I'm trying to avoid right now.
But, I feel as though I've gotten better, I'm running a little better. The one thing I was concerned about was making the cuts; once you get out there, instincts take over and I haven't been put in that situation, so I don't know how that will turn out.
This is my team, this is my job, this is what I like doing. It's more so than just playing football, this has become a lifestyle, a mentality, of how I approach every day. My job is to be out there as much as I can until my career is over, and that is where my mind is focused.
I'm out there working, I come in here, I do everything the team does except practice, but I do a little more running and working out.
Definitely is not a word I'm going to use. Hopefully is the word that I will use. You can't have anything etched in stone in this situation. If we were 6-0 or 1-6, I would be thinking the same thing. It's not necessarily about wins or losses, it's about your team, this is what you do and it's your job to do it.
I've always taken the approach that in football, you have to play every play as if it's your last, because you never know when it's going to be your last. I've approached my career like that ever since I've had enough sense, probably since my second or third year as I matured a little bit. So, whenever that time came for me, I knew that I was ready. I knew that I had given my all, and that's the best feeling I can have: when my career is over, that I left it all on the field, I gave my team, I gave the organization, I gave the media everything… honesty, trustworthiness, character, integrity. Those are the types of things and type of legacy that I want to leave. I believe I've worked hard to do that and when I do retire, I don't think I'll have any regrets.
There is more that someone can contribute to the team than just being out on the field. For me, I believe it's my influence. There are a lot of guys that I talk to, Leon Washington, Cedric Houston and Kevan Barlow, all those guys. I believe that you can help a team in more than one way.
We have different awards such as the Scout Player of the Week Award. If I can get the opportunity to go out there on the football field, I would like to win the Scout Player of the Week award to start off with. If I can get that, then I believe I've progressed to another level and that's how I'm thinking right now. My number one goal is getting the Scout Player of the Week.
I think another two weeks will just help us make a wiser decision. I don't think much will be different physically in my body two weeks from now, but I do believe we will be able to make a wiser decision.