Isn't there an old poem that goes, "How do thee Lions lose games? Let me count the ways"?
Wow, and that was (sort of) written in the 1800s. Even back then they knew the future Detroit Lions would mostly be awful.
We've all heard the term "lovable losers" and fans of the Honolulu blue know what that's all about.
Being a Detroit Lions fan virtually requires a certain amount of self-loathing, but it also brings with it a sense of camaraderie.
Who else can you empathize with? Even Michigan State football fans have a team that's .500. Oh, and talk of the Spartans' coach being fired is at an all-time high.
Week after week, Leo fans crowd around TVs, hoping for a win. The key word in that sentence is "hoping." Fans of other some teams expect wins. We hope.
Yes, even the Oakland Raiders technically have a better record at 1-5, compared the Detroit's 1-6. Yes, those are the same Raiders that have inspired betting lines on whether they would go a historic 0-16 or not. Many Lion fans lost on that one, too.
Add dieting to the list of way the Lions lose games.
The one thing the Lions could rest their hats on this season was their run defense. Well, no more.
Without the Shauns -- Rogers and Cody -- the front four had about as much success containing the run as the belt of that NASCAR fan you know contains his beer gut. Rogers sat with a four-game suspension from the NFL for violating the league substance abuse policy. Supposedly, Rogers tested positive for a banned substance due to weight loss pills he took over the summer in order to get his weight down to get a bonus in his contract.
Conversations all over Michigan could go something like this:
"Honey, where are the paper bags? And the scissors?"
"What do you want those for?"
"I've got tickets to a Lions game."
"Does that mean I have to go?"
"No. Save yourself."
At Game 1 of the World Series, a sign read "Red Wings '02, Pistons '04, Tigers '06, Lions '08."
Let's not get ahead of ourselves here.
The '08 season is about 25 new ways to lose away.