So, with a Packers Super Bowl chowfest in mind, I've come up with some designer NFL tailgating specialties you might want to feature at your party … or avoid.
Terrell Owens Jerky
This chew toy works your jaws as hard as TO works his, and is made from the dried meat of former teammates and coaches. Salted to taste with TO's own tears.
Picked off the shelf of Chicago food stores, these costly cutlets may look great, but they quit tasting good before the second half and end up leaving a really bad taste in your mouth.
Michael Vick Hot Dogs and Hush Puppies
You won't see these dogs served at the New York Kennel Club luncheon, but frankly, these dogs won't bite back and are gentle on your buns.
Matty Ice Cream
Comes in one flavor. Vanilla.
Matt White Cassel Burgers
When you toss these little sliders down your throat, they complete any meal.
Brett Favre Baloney
What can ya say about boloney with no expiration date? Heck, this baloney could very well be brought out of the freezer and served again next year. These 4-inch sausages can be bought in stores, or put in your order by phone or text. Brett Favre Baloney. The choice of drama festivals throughout Minnesota and Mississippi.
A gigantic sloppy oversized burger with a high fat content, covered in Hines (Ward) Ketchup, and will show up smothered in cheese.
Check out Mike's ridiculous golf site, ComedyGolf.com.