Favre: Hi, Mike, long time no see. Congratulations.
McCarthy: So, let's get right to it. What are your plans for 2006?
Favre: I really don't know Mike. I know a lot of people are tired of me saying that, but it's the truth. A lot of people can't make this decision when they're 60. I still feel like I can play the game, but not sure it's worth all the hard work.
McCarthy: What do you mean?
Favre: Well, it gets harder and harder to leave this place. It's always been that way, but it's worse now. My oldest daughter, Brittany, only has a year of high school left. My grandma Mee-Maw had a stroke a couple of months ago. And I had no idea what Hurricane Katrina did to this place until I got here after the season. Then there's Deanna, who's doing terrific but .... Anyway, at some point, you start thinking that it's time to put all those other things ahead of football. It would be one thing if we had a chance to contend, but, c'mon Mike, you know Ted Thompson is spouting hot air when he says we're not rebuilding. You know you are full of it when you said we just need a fresh coat of paint. We are rebuiding, and you know where I stand on rebuilding.
McCarthy: I don't think it's as bad as you think.
Favre: Sure it is.
McCarthy: No it's not. Look, we get Javon Walker back, and our receiving corps looks pretty darned good. With Jeff Jagodzinski as my offensive coordinator, we're going to re-emphasize the tight end, just like we did when I was your coach and Jags coached the tight ends. If teams honor our tight ends, it opens things up for Javon and Donald Driver.
Favre: OK, go on ...
McCarthy: We have the fifth pick in the draft, and we can't go wrong there. There's a bumper crop of running backs out there. We draft one at No. 5, bring back Samkon Gado and Ahman Green on the cheap, and not only are we greatly improved, but we have the depth to survive an injury or two.
Favre: Yeah, if we can ever teach Green and Gado not to fumble the danged football.
McCarthy: (Laughs) Don't worry, Brett. Unlike Sherman, I won't put up with it. Anyway, we could draft a back at No. 5, or maybe that pass-rusher the defense has needed here for all these years. Then we could get a back later in the draft. A guy like Brian Calhoun out of Wisconsin — you might have seen him play — would look awfully good. He can run, he can catch, and with all the other backs, he'll probably slide into the second round.
Favre: We need more than a few guys, Mike. We need a lot of guys. I don't want to be like Peyton Manning and blame things on the offensive line, but, man, it was a struggle this year, and not just for me.
McCarthy: We'll take care of that. We've got a lot of money to spend in free agency.
Favre: C'mon, Mike, you know Ted won't break the bank.
McCarthy: True, but he's not against filling holes either. He just doesn't want to do like Sherman did and break the bank on one guy, like a Joe Johnson, only to have it backfire and screw up the whole cap. We can upgrade the defensive line and linebackers, and Bob Sanders isn't Jim Bates, but at least it's Bates' system, so those guys don't have to learn a new scheme for the fourth straight year.
Favre: And what about me?
McCarthy: Well, things are going to be different. I know Sherman and Darrell Bevell let you do your own thing, but that's got to change.
Favre: Mike, last year, I just felt like I had to make something out of nothing. We had no chance to put together three or four 10-play drives a game so we could score enough points. Not with Javon out and no running game. When you have to count on Antonio Chatman and guys who we just signed, well, I just felt like I had to take chances to give us any chance to score.
McCarthy: I realize that, but we can't do that and win. You know as well as I do that the teams that don't turn over the ball are the teams that win. The four teams that got to the conference championship games were a plus-53 in turnovers. We'll make Bubba a bigger part of the offense, and that should help. Meanwhile, I need you at all three minicamps. I need you to help Aaron Rodgers a little, just to shut up those nosey, know-it-all reporters.
Favre: Sure, Mike, I can do that.
McCarthy: So, Brett, what'd'ya say? Come back and play one more season. Help me turn this thing around.
Favre: Hmmm, well, here's my answer. I will ... Hey, speaking of reporters, something smells in this room! Hey, look up there in the ducts! It's that @#%^(@$! from the Packer Report! Hey! Get the #%^# out of here!
Lawrence is a regular contributor to PackerReport.com. Send comments to email@example.com