Abbott and Costello tackle the QB depth chart

After years of Brett Favre as the starting quarterback, who is the first-stringer this season? What about second string? And the third-stringer? I don't know, as PackerReport.com's Steve Lawrence resurrects two comedy masterminds.

The Green Bay Packers' quarterback situation reads like the famous Abbott and Costello bit, "Who's on First?", with Abbott in the role of Ted Thompson and Costello playing the role of an inquisitive Packers fan.

With apologies to some real comedy masters ...

Thompson: Well, let's see, we have, Who's the first-stringer, What's the second-stringer, I Don't Know is the third-stringer...

Packers fan: That's what I want to find out.

Thompson: I say Who's the first-stringer, What's the second-stringer, I Don't Know is the third-stringer.

Packers fan: Are you the general manager?

Thompson: Yes.

Packers fan: And you don't know the fellows' names?

Thompson: Well, I should.

Packers fan: Well, then, who's the first-stringer?

Thompson: Yes.

Packers fan: I mean the fellow's name.

Thompson: Who.

Packers fan: The first-stringer.

Packers fan: The guy playing...

Thompson: Who is first-stringer!

Packers fan: I'm asking YOU who's first-stringer.

Thompson: That's the man's name.

Packers fan: That's who's name?

Thompson: Yes.

Packers fan: Well go ahead and tell me.

Thompson: That's it.

Packers fan: That's who?

Thompson: Yes.

Packers fan: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name who's the first-stringer.

Thompson: No. What is the second-stringer.

Packers fan: I'm not asking you who's the second-stringer.

Thompson: Who's the first-stringer.

Packers fan: One place on the depth chart at a time!

Thompson: Well, don't change the players around.

Packers fan: I'm not changing nobody!

Thompson: Take it easy, buddy.

Packers fan: I'm only asking you, who's the first-stringer?

Thompson: That's right.

Packers fan: OK.

Thompson: All right.

Packers fan: What's the guy's name that's the first-stringer?

Thompson: No. What is the second-stringer.

Packers fan: I'm not asking you who's the second-stringer.

Thompson: Who's the first-stringer.

Packers fan: I don't know.

Thompson: He's the third-stringer. We're not talking about him.

Packers fan: Now, how did I get to the third-stringer?

Thompson: Why, you mentioned his name.

Packers fan: If I mentioned the third-stringer's name, who did I say is the third-stringer?

Thompson: No. Who's the first-stringer.

Packers fan: What's the first-stringer?

Thompson: What's the second-stringer.

Packers fan: I don't know.

Thompson: He's the third-stringer.

Packers fan: There I go, back to the third-stringer again! Would you just stay on the third-stringer and don't go off it.

Thompson: All right, what do you want to know?

Packers fan: Now, who's the third-stringer?

Thompson: Why do you insist on putting Who on the third team?

Packers fan: What am I putting on the third team?

Thompson: No. What is the second-stringer.

Packers fan: You don't want who as the second-stringer?

Thompson: Who is the first-stringer.

Packers fan: I don't know.

Thompson & Packers fan together: Third-stringer!

Packers fan: You know I'm a shareholder.

Thompson: So they tell me.

Packers fan: I paid big bucks for that piece of paper, and I pay big bucks to a scalper so I can come to a game once a season. So, if I come to the game, the starting quarterback is going to be who?

Thompson: Now, that's the first thing you've said right.

Packers fan: I don't even know what I'm talking about!

Thompson: I know.

Packers fan: So, I turn on the TV to watch the game. I see Who is the starting quarterback. He's playing catch with What. And I Don't Know is holding the clipboard? Why? I don't know, and I don't give a darn!

Thompson: What?

Packers fan: I said I don't give a darn!

Thompson: Oh, that's our new starting guard.

Steve Lawrence is a frequent contributor to PackerReport.com. E-mail him at steve_lawrence_packers@yahoo.com


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