You don't know me, but I hope I get the pleasure of talking to you in the Packers' locker room.
Word has it that you'd like to get out of Miami. Can't blame you there. Bill Parcells' ego is out of control, and the Dolphins' offense is bereft of talent. A player like yourself — with 117 career sacks, including 13.5 when you were named the NFL's defensive player of the year in 2006 — deserves so much better as your career winds down.
Word has it, though, that Green Bay isn't on your list of desired locations. You'd rather be in a big city so your newfound fame from "Dancing with the Stars" can land you an acting gig after your football career is over.
Pardon me, a total stranger with no dancing skills and absent your good looks, for suggesting how you run your life. If you're interested in my opinion, though, I'd tell you that Hollywood can wait.
You only have so many years to pursue a Super Bowl championship. You'll be turning 34 just before the upcoming season kicks off. Time is ticking on your football career. If you're going to talk your way out of Miami, forget about acting and focus on football.
Even without Brett Favre, few teams in the NFL harbor such legit Super Bowl aspirations as the Packers. About the only missing ingredient on what figures to be a significantly above-average defense is a strong pass rusher. You, with your double-digits sacks five of the last six seasons, would fill that void.
Sure, Green Bay is about as far away from Hollywood as possible. But this isn't the NFL's version of Siberia anymore. The Packers are scheduled to play four primetime games this season. Add in a playoff game or three and a few more marquee slots on the Fox and CBS schedules, and there will be plenty of exposure for you.
Granted, there's no guarantee the Packers will win nine games, much less reach the Super Bowl this season. Then again, there's no guarantee you'll be a hit in Hollywood, either. I'm guessing Shaquille O'Neal's phone number isn't programmed into the cell phones of any Hollywood moguls.
But imagine the possibilities in Green Bay. Imagine following in the footsteps of Reggie White, another Hall of Fame defensive end who scoffed at the notion of playing for the Packers, only to come to Green Bay and help add another title to Titletown.
Those Packers were a lot further away from winning it all than these Packers. Back then, there was a young Favre, a bunch of young and unproven players and a few missing pieces. Today, there's a young Aaron Rodgers, a bunch of young and proven players and almost no missing pieces.
Imagine riding into town like a cowboy from the movies, wearing a white hat and being the hero. It could happen in Green Bay. With you making life miserable for opposing quarterbacks, this defense could be something special and would take a lot of heat off of Rodgers.
You've got the rest of your life to make some cheesy action flick that nobody will remember in five years or 50 years. You've only got one chance, however, to become an immortal figure in a town known for turning football stars into legends for the ages.
If that matters to you, make it happen.
Steve Lawrence is a frequent contributor to PackerReport.com. E-mail him at email@example.com