Commentary -- Owens' act getting old

Niners' coach Steve Mariucci tried in vain to call time in the waning seconds Sunday, but it was too late to stop the celebration.<P> The Packers' party drew a sharp contrast to earlier festivities. When Terrell Owens ran over Packer CB Mike McKenzie all the way to the end zone in the second half, the receiver celebrated his team's only TD by taking a pair of pom-pons and performing a dance. <p> Broadcasters called it an impromptu dance, but with Owens nothing is impromptu.<P>

Like the Sharpie that didn't exactly appear in his sock by accident, or the skin-tight "Catwoman" suit that didn't randomly show up during pre-game warmups.

Looking for a flag? Forget it – even though many players have been flagged this season for excessive celebration or taunting. Maybe the competition committee needs to straighten this out, although that seems like a colossal waste of time when officials still seem confused by what constitutes holding.

Looking at the San Francisco Stadium scoreboard? Owens wasn't. At that moment, it read Packers 17, Niners 12 – and being on the short end of any score isn't exactly cause for celebration.

Owens' explanation was that, golly gee, he just couldn't help himself:

"I think in my next life, I'm going to be cheerleader,'' Owens said. "After I cross the end zone, I'm in my own little zone, my own little world.''

Mariucci on Owens' celebration: "I love seeing Terrell celebrating in the end zone. Nobody does it better.''

He's wrong. A whole bunch of people do it better. Here are a few alternatives that make Owens look like the community theater of end zone celebrations.

*Chicago's David Terrell and his "make-believe car" celebration: This trumps Owens hands down because it managed to be both obnoxious and obtuse.

Billy "White Shoes" Johnson: The Houston Oiler was the first and best end zone dancer.

Donald Driver, who used to dance but stopped at the request of a fan's letter, gets the "act like you've been there before" award.

Last but not least, the Lambeau Leap: A great tradition. Owens could learn a lot from the Packers who perfected this "anti-hotdog" celebration. How can any player who subjects himself bear hugs and beer showers from fans be a hot dog?

Maybe next time these two teams get together, Owens can use his Sharpie to take some notes.

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