Love him or hate him, you've got to hand it to Bus Cook. He might not be very good at playing dumb, but he sure sticks with his story.
On Wednesday, USA Today's Jim Corbett interviewed Brett Favre's agent. Even with reports swirling that Vikings coach Brad Childress is going to hop on a plane to meet with Favre on Thursday, Cook steadfastly said: "To my knowledge, that is not true."
"I talked to Brett (on Tuesday)," Cook said. "I said, ‘What's all this about?' He said, ‘I don't know. I don't know where that's coming from.'" Cook added: "I would think the first order of business would be that Brett would tell me, ‘Bus, I want to play again.' That hasn't happened." Cook downplayed the notion that Favre wants to play for the Vikings for a chance to "stick it" to Ted Thompson ... you know, assuming Favre's coming back. Which he's not.
"If he wants to play again, it's not going to be to get revenge," Cook said. "If he comes back to play, it's going to be because he loves football.
"Are there certain things about the Packers, how things ended there and he felt they didn't treat him right? That's true. Does he have a certain vendetta against them? That's not true. If he came back, it would be because he wants another chance to win a Super Bowl."
Because, you know, he certainly couldn't have done that with the New York Jets.
So, with Cook having proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that Denial is not a river in Hattiesburg, our crack research staff proudly presents Great Moments in Cook Family History.
— Even ancient scientists knew the Earth was round. Nonetheless, young first-mate Jebediah Cook was heard screaming from aboard one of Christopher Columbus' three ships, the Pinta, that, "We're all going to die! Turn the ship around!"
— Handed the newly invented telescope by Galileo, young Nickolai Cook said, "This is useless for everything but spying on the neighbors."
— Offered a stake in Henry Ford's fledgling company, Bertrand Cook declined, never envisioning that the horseless carriage would surpass the horse and buggy.
— With Col. Sigfried Cook's unit surrounded by enemy forces in World War I, he sends a comminuque to the kaiser saying, "We're kicking butt, sir!" All while raising the white flag.
— Who can forget the story of the Titanic, when Capt. Josef Cook ordered the band to keep playing because, even though the bottom cabins were filling with water, "This baby is unsinkable!"
— Cook's cousin owned a record label that went belly up. "Rock ‘n' roll is just a fad that's going to go away soon," Max Cook defiantly said.
— It's a little-known fact that Cook's grandparents lost their life savings by investing in helium blimps, even after the Hindenburg disaster.
— Young Bus caught a very bad cold by insisting the temperature was warming and the clouds were breaking on a cold, windy March morning in which even ducks were seeking shelter.
— Even now, some in the Cook family tree are members of the Flat Earth Society. Others are part of the kooks who believe the United States never put an astronaut on the moon. There are even a few foolish souls with Cook genes who believe there are Satanic messages secretly encoded in Sonny & Cher and Simon & Garfunkel albums.
— Last spring, Cook called "absolutely false" a Los Angeles Times story that said he had been secretly shopping Favre around the league. That turned out to be true. Last summer, Cook continually downplayed reports of Favre's interest in coming out of retirement. Those reports turned out to be true.
— And now, Bus Cook — famed agent of Brett Favre — proclaims again and again that he knows nothing about his client's alleged interest in coming out of retirement. Even though Favre has admitted his interest to good buddy Steve Mariucci, who of course, spilled the beans on NFL Network.
"To my knowledge, he hasn't gotten the itch to play again," Cook told USA Today's Corbett.
Sure thing. Just keep playing dumb. You need the practice.
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Bill Huber is publisher of Packer Report magazine and PackerReport.com and has written for Packer Report since 1997. E-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org, or leave him a question in Packer Report's subscribers-only Packers Pro Club forum. Bill also is giving Facebook and Twitter a try. Find him on Twitter at twitter.com/packerreport and Facebook.