You knew the line was coming.
"I still love to play," Brett Favre, new quarterback of the, gulp, Minnesota Vikings said on Tuesday.
Nope, this isn't about revenge against Ted Thompson. No, siree, this is about Brett Favre loving to play the game.
Pardon me, but what a bunch of garbage.
Now, let me get this out of the way, because it's an important preface. If Favre wants to play football, he should play football. If he wants to be like Gordie Howe and play professionally till he's 60, go for it.
But everything else in this charade is flat-out garbage from a quarterback with an ego bigger than his Mississippi ranch.
Sorry, but you expect us to believe that Mr. Waffle King himself — in the course of one phone call on Monday from Brad Childress — decided to come out of retirement? That Childress didn't have to "recruit" Favre, as the coach was asked on Tuesday? And that your 10-year-old daughter saying she'd rather you win a Super Bowl than her get to spend the school year with her friends, made you feel better about the decision?
Garbage, garbage, garbage.
Here's the more likely scenario. On July 28, Favre called Childress and the Vikings' owners and said he didn't want to deal with training camp. He didn't want to live in a college dorm. That he'd rather throw passes to a bunch of high school players than throw passes to the guys who would be his future teammates.
But, he'd be thrilled to, ahem, change his mind in the middle of August, once the Vikings had moved out of the dorms and with more than half of the training camp practices in the book.
Oh, and if you could give me $12 million and have Childress pick me up at the airport, well, that would be terrific.
Now, that's love for the game!
"I don't think anyone has played the game with as much passion and has loved it, and loved his teammates as much as me," Favre said. "I haven't always been the best player. I would like to think that every player that I have played with would love to have me in the foxhole."
And then the trainers in the New York Jets' locker room had to bring in the buckets to clean up the vomit.
Let's face facts, everyone. Why didn't Favre integrate with his teammates last year? Why wasn't Favre in the best of shape?
Because last year didn't matter to him. It was a one-year inconvenience.
If the Packers wouldn't cater to his every whim — you know, allow Favre to skip all of organized team activities and the minicamp — then he'd force his way out of Green Bay. And when the Packers shipped him to the Jets rather than allow him to play for the Vikings, then Favre bided his time by showing up on Sundays to get 2008 out of the way.
Then, he retired. This time for good. Wink.
Was this a ploy to get to Minnesota at some point? How insulting! Wink, wink.
"We had a good conversation with Brett today and we are taking him based on what he said in this conversation that he is done," general manager Mike Tannenbaum said.
Taking Favre at his word ... sucker.
Favre just respected and appreciated owner Woody Johnson and Tannenbaum too much to ever ask for his release from the Jets. Wink, wink, wink. So, of course, two months later, Favre asked for and was granted his released from the Jets.
Shocking! Didn't see that coming.
At that point — and even through that "I'm staying retired" nonsense of last month — Tuesday's turn of events seemed like a foregone conclusion.
But it's all love of the game. No desire to stick it to Ted Thompson, who had the nerve to say "no" to you in July 2008. No desire to get revenge against Thompson, who had the nerve to trade you rather than grant your release, even though your own agent confirmed that you lied about Thompson during your interview on Fox News.
Nope. It's all love of the game.
"I think if you're a true Packers fan, you understand," Favre said. "Will it be different? Sure it will. Is it odd the way it's unfolded? Absolutely. If you're a true fan, you say, ‘You know what? He chose to continue playing. They chose to go in a different direction. It's part of the business. He has to play somewhere if he wants play.' Once again, this is a perfect fit."
You're right, Brett. True Packer fans do understand. And you'll hear from a lot of them on Nov. 1, who see you as a traitor and a liar — with the first not necessarily a bigger crime than the second. And you're also right, Brett, that this is a perfect fit. You found a team who is willing to cave in to all of your desires, right down to the coach acting as your chauffeur.
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Bill Huber is publisher of Packer Report magazine and PackerReport.com and has written for Packer Report since 1997. E-mail him at email@example.com, or leave him a question in Packer Report's subscribers-only Packers Pro Club forum. Find Bill on Twitter at twitter.com/packerreport and Facebook under Bill Huber.