Brady Agrees to Race Bledsoe
By Chris Goodhue, Site Contributor
Wire services have reported Tom Bradys answer to Drew Bledsoes race challenge: the two-time SuperBowl MVP wants to throw down. Ill hit him so hard that hell be begging for Mo Lewis, Brady said in a Thursday interview. He wont have Dave Wohlabaughs skirt to hide behind this time around in the words of my man Iron Mike, I will eat his children. Bledsoe could not be reached for comment on the matter of his sons Stuart, John, and Henry being served as a delicacy at the Brady mansion.
Brady was visibly upset at Bledsoes claim that he would beat Brady in a footrace. He wants to talk all this smack about me being slow-footed, well Ill tell you something Drew is so slow he thought the Wonderlic was something that would enhance his wifes chest. Brady supplanted Bledsoe as the Patriots starting QB in the 2001 season, and the two have maintained a hot and cold relationship since then.
Bledsoes new coach in Dallas, Bill Parcells was unable to take calls, as he was on another line with Jets owner Leon Hess, presumably in regards to Parcells leaving the Cowboys for Hess granddaughters U-12 soccer team.
There have also been unconfirmed reports that Bledsoe and Max Lane have challenged Brady and MO Lewis to a Last Man Standing Stage Dive Death Match. Regardless, we here at Patriotsinsider.com have prepared the weigh in, just in case these two warriors decide to rumble.
|Tom Brady||Drew Bledsoe||Advantage|
|Weight||225 Lbs.||238 Lbs.||Bledsoe|
|TV or Book Likeness||The Brady Bunch||Nancy Drew||Brady|
|Romantically Linked To||Tara Reid, Bridget Moynihan||Maura Bledsoe||Brady|
|Celebrity Lookalike||Matt Damon||Anthony Michael Hall||Huge Adv. Brady|
|QB Comparison||Joe Montana||Dan Marino||Brady|
|Unwinds At:||The Playboy Mansion||A remote ranch in Montana||Huge Adv. Brady|
|Career Passer Rating||87.4||76.7||Brady|
|Alma Mater||Michigan||Washington St.||Brady|
|Birthplace||San Mateo, CA||Ellensburg, WA||Brady|
|Athletic Siblings||Maureen Brady: All-American in Softball (Fresno St.)||Adam Bledsoe: Career Backup QB (Colorado)||Brady|
|PR Faux Pas||Has yet to Run for Governor of Mass.||Crowd surfing with Max Lane at an Everclear show||Brady|
|Favorite Target(s)||Deion Branch||Ben Coates and his 37 children||Bledsoe its tough to man up on all those kids|
|Also Played||Baseball in College (Drafted by the Montreal Expos as a Catcher)||Hoops in High School||Brady|
So there you have it the distinct advantage in just about every category goes to Tom Brady. Whether this translates to a decisive victory on the track is anyones guess.
Chris Goodhue has been a leading fantasy football and baseball expert since 1999, and occasionally enjoys making light of silly comments made to the media. Especially on April 1st. Send your questions and comments to cgoodhue in the Insider Forums.
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