Brady Agrees To Race Bledsoe

<p>Tom Brady, has had enough from his former mentor, Drew Bledsoe making comments to the press. Brady, after being told what Bledsoe said of his former backup, bristled at the insinuations Bledsoe had made regarding his footspeed. The normally calm Brady, amazingly broke from the party line in order to respond to Bledsoe's challenge to a footrace. You're not going to believe what Brady had to say. We've scoured the web to get the actual quotes just for you.</p>

Brady Agrees to Race Bledsoe
By Chris Goodhue, Site Contributor

Wire services have reported Tom Brady’s answer to Drew Bledsoe’s race challenge: the two-time SuperBowl MVP wants to throw down. “I’ll hit him so hard that he’ll be begging for Mo Lewis,” Brady said in a Thursday interview. “He won’t have Dave Wohlabaugh’s skirt to hide behind this time around… in the words of my man Iron Mike, I will eat his children.” Bledsoe could not be reached for comment on the matter of his sons Stuart, John, and Henry being served as a delicacy at the Brady mansion.

Brady was visibly upset at Bledsoe’s claim that he would beat Brady in a footrace. “He wants to talk all this smack about me being slow-footed, well I’ll tell you something…Drew is so slow he thought the Wonderlic was something that would enhance his wife’s chest.” Brady supplanted Bledsoe as the Patriots’ starting QB in the 2001 season, and the two have maintained a hot and cold relationship since then.

Bledsoe’s new coach in Dallas, Bill Parcells was unable to take calls, as he was on another line with Jets owner Leon Hess, presumably in regards to Parcells leaving the Cowboys for Hess’ granddaughter’s U-12 soccer team.

There have also been unconfirmed reports that Bledsoe and Max Lane have challenged Brady and MO Lewis to a “Last Man Standing Stage Dive Death Match.” Regardless, we here at Patriotsinsider.com have prepared the weigh in, just in case these two warriors decide to rumble.

Tom Brady
Drew Bledsoe
 Tom BradyDrew BledsoeAdvantage

Height

6’4"6’5"Bledsoe
Weight225 Lbs.238 Lbs.Bledsoe
TV or Book LikenessThe Brady BunchNancy DrewBrady
Romantically Linked ToTara Reid, Bridget MoynihanMaura BledsoeBrady
Celebrity LookalikeMatt DamonAnthony Michael HallHuge Adv. Brady
SuperBowl Rings
3
1
Brady
QB Comparison Joe MontanaDan MarinoBrady
Unwinds At:The Playboy MansionA remote ranch in MontanaHuge Adv. Brady
Career Passer Rating87.476.7Brady
Alma MaterMichiganWashington St.Brady
BirthplaceSan Mateo, CAEllensburg, WABrady
Athletic SiblingsMaureen Brady: All-American in Softball (Fresno St.)Adam Bledsoe: Career Backup QB (Colorado)Brady
PR Faux PasHas yet to Run for Governor of Mass.Crowd surfing with Max Lane at an Everclear showBrady
Favorite Target(s)Deion BranchBen Coates…and his 37 childrenBledsoe…it’s tough to man up on all those kids
Also PlayedBaseball in College (Drafted by the Montreal Expos as a Catcher)Hoops in High SchoolBrady

 

So there you have it… the distinct advantage in just about every category goes to Tom Brady. Whether this translates to a decisive victory on the track is anyone’s guess.


Chris Goodhue has been a leading fantasy football and baseball expert since 1999, and occasionally enjoys making light of silly comments made to the media. Especially on April 1st. Send your questions and comments to cgoodhue in the Insider Forums.

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