According to insider information I received from colleagues in the academic community, in a bold move to ensure its fiscal survival, Harvard University will today announce that it is going entirely online as of April 1, 2010.
The 308 acre campus has been sold for an undisclosed sum to billionaire businessman and 1965 Harvard Business School alumnus Robert K. Kraft. Kraft will develop the land into a massive commercial and residential complex in the heart of Cambridge, MA named Harvards 100 Yard.
Given the unusual nature of our time and the unforeseen financial predicament in which we have found ourselves, this was the most economically viable option available. Harvard President Dr. Drew G. Faust is quoted as saying in an embargoed press release. We will save millions of dollars in toilet paper alone!
In the spirit of April Fool's Day