It's Bad Enough, Yet They Make It Worse.

This week I have a very special treat. I can now let it be known that last off-season, I was authorized by Big Steve, and given a very large budget, to subsidize purchase of a mole inside the Oriole's Warehouse. When Mullah Pete (thanks 316) reads this, he is going to toss Joe Foss right out the window. Heads will roll, the search will be on, and lives will be at stake.

With that in mind, we'll refer to this week's author as 'Flying Headbutt' to keep him out of harm's way. Mr.Headbutt could be a vendor, floor cleaner, or he could very well be Syd Thrift's #1 council. I will say this person has contacts with the local media, and our owner should be very afraid. The uprising is in full swing!- Bert

By- 'Flying Headbutt'

Once, we could have been proud.  Turn on your TV or radio every night and you knew that you were going to hear the very best there was to hear in baseball.  A few years ago though, that stopped being the case.  The best in talent was sent packing and in return we got second-rate and minor league quality guys instead.  As fans, we are all fed up and want improvements yet the progress is slow, with only a Jim Palmer here and there to make us feel good.

Ha, now if I were talking about the players for the Orioles, having a Palmer-like talent would be great.  But no, they ain't there yet.  Rather, I'm talking about the team of guys who make up the Orioles broadcasting crew. 

Now I'm from the younger generation, and growing up I didn't have cable.  That meant I couldn't watch many games on TV.  But it did mean going to bed every night listening to Jon Miller paint the most perfect picture of a game.  He's easily the best announcer this side of Vin Scully.  That point I will not argue.  And ultimately, you can blame Miller for putting me in the position to judge and write about this cast of characters who make up the broadcasting team. But, my years of listening to Miller every night made me aspire to one day do the things he does, and today I work in radio. I know a good broadcaster when I hear one.  And as is plainly obvious, good ones we don't have much of!

The main problems lie within a certain couple of broadcasters. The inescapable fact is that the dominant positions are held by a bunch of shrilling miscreants who have no business being on my TV or radio.

Offender number one is you, Jim Hunter.  And yes, you are offensive.  The epitome of a shrill, I wonder if you know what life is like without the orange and black tainted glasses on?  When other broadcasters go out of their way to talk about how awful you are, perhaps you have some work to do.  Now I know broadcasting is a very ego-driven industry, with constant back stabbing and little to no job security. But I've never heard anything but constant criticism about you, if anything is being said about you at all.  In fact, the only compliments from the industry I've heard about you ave come from me... when I was recalling your stint with CBS Radio as a sports anchor.  That was a long time ago, Jim, a looooong time ago. 

Here's an idea; something to maybe help you out.  Try being critical.  Trust me, I love this team more than you do and I still find plenty to complain about.  You might gain some credibility if you decided to stop blaming the umpires, the sun, the grounds crew, the jet stream, the aurora borealis, and everything else except the Orioles when things take a turn for the worse.  Another thing you can start realizing is that players can be bad.  Real bad.  Ryan McGuire bad even.  His major league experience has proven he's someone that probably won't ever get the job done.  He stinks and belongs back in Rochester. 

While it might be a shame when he strikes out in a pinch-hitting appearance, it's also
expected!  By everyone else at least, except you.  If you actually STOPPED toeing the company line and instead called it like it is, you'd be just fine. 

But it's quite apparent, painfully obvious, and certainly undeniable that the worst of all time is the guy on my TV every night.  Oh he's bad.  Really bad.  A total imbecile who tries to hard to be hip and stylish, a guy who's been known to spend over an hour before a game just fixing his hair for those precious few seconds he'll spend on camera with a headset covering that helmet up.  The epitome of both a shrill and a jackass, the lead TV airhead, Michael Reghi.  Never in the history of the world
has someone so unqualified kept their position.  HE HAS NO HOPE!  If there were a contest, Homer Simpson would win employee of the month each and every single time. 

He's minor league quality to the very core. He belongs calling games in places like Sticksville, Virginia.  Hell, not even there, maybe high school football games in Western Pennsylvania towns like Coaldust or Steelville.  With that minor league quality voice that comes at you like he's purposely goofing on FM Radio DJs, like Jim Hunter he's never had a tough word to say about the Orioles no matter how bad the situation called for it.  Critical, he's not. 

But then to think he really understands the game might be a stretch too.  I can almost see him hanging out with Angelos after another 8-1 loss and hearing him say, well Mr. Angelos, it was another tough break.  If a couple things go their way though, they're right there in it. Like the surly truck driver in "Spiderman" said, HE STINKS AND I DON'T LIKE HIM! 

It's also apparent that, just like he's never seen a bad game played by the Orioles (it's always tough, but they're never EVER bad, okay?) he's never heard a cliché he
wouldn't want to spout off to you either.  Anything to try to pretend he's got a vast array of baseball knowledge.  Perhaps the most glaring, and disgusting example is his
signature home run call. 

Now I've never been a fan of those to begin with.  And I'll even offer that John Sterling up in New York has the worst, (it is high, it is far, and iiiiiiiit isssssssss GONE.  Soriano just hit a bullet to left that got out of here in a hurry. Contradict yourself because you think YOU'RE the show, eh Johnny?), but mush-mouth Reghi isn't far behind.  Seeeeee youuuuuuu later!  Please!!!!  How pedestrian and stupid is
that?  And screaming it louder for more emphasis won't make it any better either.

But perhaps I should look at it this way.  If he's busy using his fake and rehearsed home run call because that's how proper baseball announcers do it (and it's NOT really), I guess that means we don't have the insufferable pain of having to hear how hip he is.  That means no talking about shout outs, no talking about the latest MTV fad boy band, and no shots of him on camera looking like a jackass and
clown in those stylish suits he tries to pull off.  I know he wants to look cool, but let the players pull of stylish and you go for professional.  When middle-aged, white guys try to be hip, it never works.  Instead he looks like a dork.  But then what can you expect from a guy who jokes about blow-up dolls too?  But even those jokes are only funny when, say, one of your old roommates in college had one.  Not that I um, you know, ever lived with anyone who had one.

Oh, and to think it wasn't that long ago that guys like Mel Proctor and Jon Miller were here.  Joe Angel and Josh Lewin too.  Guys who were quality and in demand. They realized that even if they didn't toe the company line, there would be a line of owners looking to woo them over to their side.  They understood that fans would still listen even if the product is bad because they were getting the very best.  Today, it pains me to listen to bad announcers talk about how good a bad player is.  No one is drinking that Kool Aid, trust me on that one.

Someday things will shape up here again, they have to.  But until they do, excuse me while I flip around the dish trying to find the opposing team's broadcast on television.&n


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