Fan Noise: Wait for it

NET Columnist Glenn Geiss has a new definition for Season-Acquired Depression otherwise known to diehard NFL fans as the dreaded offseason.

I hate the off season.

Yeah, I know, hardly earth shattering news. Everyone hates the off season if you're a football fan. It's even worse around here.

I never really cared for baseball. I sucked at it as a kid in little league. I still suck at it at over 40 years of age. Not that I ever go out and actually try to test my skills. When you're old and falling apart, you don't need to go put on a glove or swing a bat to know it. Since I'm fairly sure that my former lack of baseball skills hasn't suddenly gotten better with age, I think it's a pretty safe assumption.

I first started paying attention to baseball after I moved back to the Pacific Northwest and had to endure the daily commute to and from work. Sitting in traffic for hours on end, I found that listening to Dave and Rick on the radio made the time pass by a little faster. I got hooked on the almost soap opera quality of it all. Will Lou go ballistic again? Will the bullpen blow yet another lead? Edgar is on the 15 day DL AGAIN?!?!?!? The game still sucked, but it was cheap entertainment. Either that, or it was the exhaust fumes from the 18 wheeler sitting next to me at Southcenter.

Thus, the past few years, it wasn't nearly as bad. True, my true love (football) was over, but spring training and baseball managed to hold me over until the REAL sport came back around again. Yup, a really dedicated baseball fan. I've never stepped foot inside Safeco field, and probably never will, but inside my truck, or parked in front of the TV, it's fine, especially when the team is winning 90+ or 100+ games a year.

I've never liked Basketball. College or Pros, doesn't matter, but professional in particular. When did the game devolve into who can foul who the most in the last 60 seconds of the game? How is that entertaining? Put the ball in play…foul. Free throw. Put ball in play…foul. Free throw. Timeout. 60 seconds suddenly expands to 20 minutes. Some rabid basketball fans I'm sure will write to me and make rather scathing remarks (assuredly full of carnal verbs) about how I just don't understand the game, and how exciting it is. I don't care. It's stupid. It's my opinion and I'll stick with it.

So, you can probably see my problem. I don't watch basketball. I won't even go into Hockey, which is about as popular as the Arena Football League. The Mariners are in an epic tailspin, which quite honestly, is entertaining in itself, it if wasn't just so painful to watch. It used to be when Edgar came up to the plate with men on base, you JUST KNEW something magical would happen. Now, YOU JUST KNOW he's going to strike out. Shiggy coming in? Might as well turn off the TV, the game is over, the other team is going score at least 3-4 runs. So, bottom line, this off season has been the worst in recorded history. Not to mention the fact that EVERYONE thinks this year is "it". Can't we get this going already? We have everyone on the team talking about the Superbowl, LET'S GET ON WITH IT!!! Argh! BOONIE STRUCK OUT AGAIN!

Sorry, lost if for a moment there.

Probably the absolute worst part is that there isn't any real drama going on over in Kirkland. Walter Jones is out yet again, no use writing about that old can of worms. Lessee, Jeremy Stevens seems to finally have gotten his act together, but we've heard all of that before. Mili shows up, so that seems to be over. Everyone seems to be happy as a clam. Damnit.

HEY, GUYS! DO SOMETHING! ANYTHING! GIVE US FANS SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT!

The team can't even offer up any controversy at MLB. Apparently Trotter isn't going to be signed to shore up that last remaining spot on our roster, so nothing new to report there. Springs is gone. No one can complain about Chad Eaton (God bless him) anymore. No one got arrested over the weekend. No one made an embarrassing comment to reporters about Pearl Harbor (cough cough). Biggest turnout in team history to voluntary workouts.

Sigh.

I hate the off season.


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