Fan Noise - "Sprinkler System"

At the end of the 2003 season, The No Fun League instituted a new rule on "excessive" celebrations. Just what the heck is "excessive"? Isn't every shuffle, dance and leap "excessive"? If we're going to celebrate, let's do it RIGHT.

“Celebrate good times, come ON!”
---“Celebration”, Kool & the Gang, 1980

Oh the rascals of the National Football League. Why do you want to rain on our parade?

OK, so the whole sharpie, cell phone, poster hidden in the goal post types of celebrations are both lame and not really needed. I’ll also admit that some of the bigger celebrations of the 80s were pretty stupid and were getting annoying. It was no longer just a football game, it was an opportunity for whole teams to come up with elaborate, and frankly quite bizarre, “shows” after a touchdown. There had to be some restraint.

It also can overstep into displaying a lack of class, especially when intended to rub it in the faces of the opponents.

But the sprinkler is funny.

It’s meant to be funny. It also doesn’t require elaborate props, footwork, or slashing motions.

I also understand that if one player does it after a touchdown, it’s ok. With two doing it in unison, it might come off “planned” and choreographed, even though it’s just our offensive threats who consider themselves best friends doing it.

So, ok, one player = good, two (or more) = bad.

But I have an idea. Let that one player be the conductor for everyone BUT the players.

Can you imagine if the whole stadium did the sprinkler in unison, along with Koren?

What if the SeaGals positioned at the end zone suddenly joined in? They’re not players, and they’re EXPECTED to celebrate, aren’t they?

What about the coaching staff? Can you picture Mike Holmgren and Jim Zorn doing it?

Well, maybe not. Funny visual image though.

How about the whole bench standing up, turning around, hopping up onto their seats, and doing it?

I also understand – Mike Holmgren is a pretty “old school” kind of guy. Old-fashioned. He doesn’t really like the celebrations, smack talk and other less professional aspects of modern sports. For Coach, anything beyond tossing the ball to the ref is irritating. But in order to fire up the hometown crowds, we have to have the team display some fire in their bellies, don’t we? It’s reciprocal – the team scores, we celebrate, the fans get pumped up, which in turn pumps up the players even more to score more. Nothing wrong with that. Plus, it gives our town the opportunity to become trend-setters yet again.

Remember, this is the town that gave the world the Wave, before the Wave got “uncool”. We showed the rest of the world how to make noise in the old Kingdome. Our town gave the world overly expensive cups of coffee, grunge rock, and the term “skid row”.

So this year, what I want from both the fans and the players, is this: The next time we score a touchdown at home, whatever end zone it is, the entire end zone section stands up and does the sprinkler along with the player. That means you too, SeaGals.

Stand up. Three passes. Sit down. In time. As a group. And do it with STYLE. Simple. Let’s get THAT on Monday night football.

Everyone else yell and cheer like crazy as the end zone fans sprinkle love and adoration on the team.

I have a funny feeling we’ll have lots of opportunities to practice it and get it right before the end of the year.

Glenn Geiss writes the "Fan Noise" column for Seahawks.NET every week. Feel free to send him feedback at Top Stories