"Beat The Man" - Week Two

The Man thinks he's got a chance down 2-3 from Week One. Scott Jones presents four reality checks The Man can cash all day long..

Howdy friends, we’re back to serve The Man another healthy dose of pocketbook pain…

Last Week:
3-2
Season to Date:
3-2

So last week’s results were not bad, but not good. All the winners generally played out as expected, but we lost cash late when Atlanta went to sleep in the second half and let the Niners cover with less than 1 minute to play (it happens). And the G-Men bet turned out to be an outright failure (apparently I was wrong, NYG is very bad).

I hate 3-2. I hate barely. I hate getting all fired up to do some dominance, and walk away with a cheap gift. Hell, I hate gifts. I just want to TAKE what I earn! I just hate 3-2. It’s a waste of precious energy.

In any event, one week does not make a season. So let’s continue with the process:

DAL –4 vs. CLE
Last week the Browns managed to make Baltimore look a little less than crappy. That’s a surprise, cuz though I’m not too interested in Baltimore – I think Cleveland is one of the very worst teams in the league. Following the game, you could find any number of quotes from the giddy Browns and their very own coach. The kind of quotes that say “We can’t believe we won either!” This week, they come back down to their level. On the other side, the Cowboys met a loss against the quite capable Vikings (and we got paid). Tuna very much expects them to bounce back here at home and avoid an 0-2 start. So do I. Cleveland is the PERFECT team to do that with. This is a 5 star game. I am more confident about this game than I will be on most throughout the year. Really, this is as guaranteed as it gets. It’s as true as boots on a Texan.


MIN +3.5 @PHI

What team had the most convincing win against a quality opponent? Minnesota – they blew up (as expected). They’ll be doing that a lot this year as the sole threat to our beloved Seahawks’ NFC Championship crown. They’re playing another team that had a convincing win, the Eagles. What is the difference in the two wins, boys and girls? That’s right, Philadelphia played a clearly inferior opponent in the Giants (though NYG actually had opportunities to cover late in that game. Minnesota will not fail to do so). The Vikings are wondering why they’re getting points and they are going to forge into Philly and rip into that weak secondary like Donovan McNabb’s mom chasing down a bowl of Chunky Soup. The T.O. show won’t be nearly as happy when reality hits Philadelphia. I’m loving the opportunity to TAKE points, and win with the better team outright. Liking that opportunity very much… Thanks for the soup Mom!


CIN –4.5 vs. MIA
Now things get a lot less confident. Cincinnati was a bit disappointing in their match-up at the Jets last week. Though Carson Palmer had a nice outing, settling that uncertainty – the defense proved to validate a concern. The Jets, and their iffy O-line, walked all over them. However, does Miami have even close to the offensive threat that the J-E-T-S do? No. They really have absolutely nothing and their nothing starting tailback, Travis Minor, ain’t even healthy for this one. Can they score 31 pts? Nada. How many can they score? Will it be enough to outscore the Bengals’ potent offense vs. that credible Miami D? I’ll lay money that it’s enough to do so by 5 or more. The odd-named-tigers need a win here to avoid dampening the spirits of last year’s progression. They’ll get it.


INDY +1.5 @ TEN
Another iffy pick. I was very impressed with the Colts on Opening Day and quite surprised their defense held up as well as it did. Remember, they lost that game on a sack and 3 turnovers in the enemies red zone. And that was against last year’s Champs (a defense we’ve been told is sorta not bad, eh). Do they look like a team ready for 0-2? I think not. (and boy howdy didn’t Edgerrin James look fantastic?! Wow). They’re up against one of last weeks winning picks. All I had to say about the Titans last week was they’re a good team that gets to play the Fish. But how good are they? They lost some defense in the off-season and added a stable of draft picks (good ones) to fill the gap. Is that enough to stop that Indy Offense? You think those rookies are ready for the trio of the millenium (Manning, James, and Harrison)? I think it’s a bit much to bear from a team that expects to be better than 0-2. Never underestimate the power of desperation, and fear of failure. The Titans look to continue to struggle vs. The Colts this week. It may be close, but I think the Horseshoes come out on the winning side.


Now, that’s gonna be it for this week. I have a 5th pick in Buffalo over Oakland, but I’m just not comfortable enough to make it official. So we’re only going with 4 this week. Week 2 is a very sticky proposition in the NFL and there just isn’t enough on the board for me to find certainty with. Certainty is what we want to throw at the bookman, remember? Certain of success. Certain enough to take the credit card away from the wife again and bet her almost purchased new wardrobe on Football. She’s got enough in that closet to shred up and make diapers for every pit boss in Vegas, but since we’re so sweet – we’ll let her have what she’s got and bet baby’s new shoes on Sunday.

Here’s a review of this weeks picks:
DAL –4 vs. CLE
MIN +3.5 @PHI
CIN –4.5 vs. MIA
INDY +1.5 @ TEN

Remember, The Man was put there by God to give us something to hate. Take Sunday’s seriously and do God’s will… Crush the man like a raw tomato that fell of the truck of some lonely farmer on his way to a Tijuana Supermercado. Splat the man with your monster-truck tires…

G. Scott Jones is a freelance writer who contributes regularly to Seahawks.Net. Reaction of any sort is always encouraged at schleprockhawk@sbcglobal.net.


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