Beat The Man - Week 4

Well, the Man had a week-long reprieve...but now, our own Scott Jones has been spotted crawling out of the hustle and bustle. What's on his mind? Beating the Man like Randy Moss would beat Shawn Springs, that's what!

Ok, so last week I chumped out and gave The Man a hall pass. Why? Who cares, it won’t happen again. We’re back with a vengeance and ready to serve up some disrespect to those who oppose us.

Last Week: M.I.A.
Season to Date: 5-4 (neeto!)

I must admit, I’m not supremely confident this week. And I hate that. Like, what good is walking up to The Man, with an attitude, when you’re not sure you can actually take him? Well, it ain’t too good. But ya know what we do in that situation? MAKE ourselves believe. If you can make yourself believe – you can take that man DOWN, baby! He will fear your ignorant truth…

And since I’m encouraging arrogance here, let’s start with my stubborn resistance to Philadelphia:


CHI +9.5 vs PHI

Ah those ugly Eagles, when will I learn my lesson… Apparently never. This week I am once again – going against the Eagles.

Some of you may remember how the Eagles single handedly destroyed my very respectable record last year. The 5row cover trick got obliterated by them, and they just kept on hurting me in every way. Oddly enough, the pain started when I bet them opposite Dallas, and they choked completely. Immediately following that loss – they went nuts and drove straight to the Championship game, where they once again proved… THEY SUCK!! I swear, I swear, I swear, the Eagles suck! (OK, they don’t suck. They look really good this year. You can’t argue with their performance. Not only are they winning – but they look very good doing it. Regardless, I’ll be taking the other side here).

Chicago has played Tuff. Following a loss on an interception vs. Detroit, they clowned GBay, and stayed close to Minnesota. If you look at their team stats vs. the Opponents stats – things are about even with favor towards the Bears in the Running game and to the Opponents in the passing game. Mostly, they’re hanging in there and playing good ball for coach Lovie Smith, who appears to have his team in the right frame of mind. In this spot, with the Eagles on top of the world, on the road vs. a Bears team they likely consider no threat… I like my odds. I think the Bears catch ‘em sleepin’. And I’m getting enough points to not quite do that and still get paid. Philly is looking at a BYE next week, and I think they take an early nap. Take the money…


INDY –4 @ JAX

After losing to New England 24-27, in a week one road game where they turned over opportunities to score FOUR times – the Colts have taken hold and won 2 games with sides of 31 vs. TEN and 45 vs. GBay. They now face Jacksonville, who have stunned everyone except me by going 3-0 out of the gate. The Jags have done it with D, allowing only 2 TD’s on the season and knocking off Buffalo, Denver, and Tennessee in the process. They now meet in a division match-up that could put the Jags ahead by 2 games. That’s the situation.

The Man is asking us to pay him 4 points on the road. He’s asking us to ask ourselves if the Colts can win by 4 or more. Do you think they can do that? Well do ya? Though I had the Jagz on my pre-season watch list as a playoff team, I am in fact surprised by how well their defense in playing. I don’t question whether they’re good, but I DO question whether they’re THAT good. On the other side of the ball, I’m mighty surprised at how disappointing their Offense is playing: 13, 7, and 15 points? That is not what I had in mind for them. Can we expect them to double their offensive output, while holding perhaps the leagues scariest offense to less than 20? Cuz that’s what’s it’s going to take to win the game. I don’t think they can do it. It’s a pretty tight spread The Man is throwing at us there. But we are not here to fear. Indy comes out on top. And I’m not afraid to give 4 points ahead.

Straight and narrow on that one folks. It’s no laughing matter. Neither team will be laughing in this contest…


ATL +3.5 @ CAR
This is another big time game for both teams. I LOVE big time games. Big time games mean we get an opportunity to bet the better team vs. the better team, and not worry about who might show up and who might not. I assure you, Carolina is going to show up to play a Falcon team that’s currently 2 games ahead of them at 3-0. Therefore… who is better?

Well, I like Carolina. I love what they did last year and I respect them and their coach a great deal. But what have they done THIS year? They visually struggled vs. GBay (who hasn’t won since) and lost 2 key players in RB Davis and Weapon of Mass Destruction WR Steve Smith, yet still managed to pull one out at KC (who hasn’t won at all). They then took a BYE week… Is that what they wanted to do? No. They’ve got problems, and Atlanta is really bringin’ it on Defense. I don’t think Carolina can handle a geeked up Atlanta team looking to be legitimate while Carolina figures out who they are this year.

We’ve got a 3-0 team playing a 1-1 team that had to take a week off having no consistency anywhere… and we’re getting a field goal plus. Hey, ya can’t live on reputation alone. We’re looking at the Dirty Bird vs. the Carolina Carcass. (We’re not afraid to tell the ugly truth here. This team has been pillaged). We’re going to properly respect Atlanta and be happy getting points for the team that will win it outright.


DC –3 @ CLE

Washington has been playing pretty tight ball against teams that are hard to gauge. Therefore, it’s tough to know how good DC is, except to say they’re competing each week (note: I did not see the MNF game, I only know the result). Meanwhile, Cleveland served up a 1-week shocker and then came back to Earth (just as I said they would in wk2 BTM). I think it’s safe to say, they… are NOT as good… as the Skins.

But we’re going on the road and we’re giving 3. The Browns are back to the scene of the crime (where they thumped Baltimore). Can we feel secure giving 3 in this situation? Hey – “Don’t call me Francis”. We’re not secure, but we’re going to bet the side anyway. We’re just throwing money at The Man with disgust and claiming our absolute right to a $5.99 plate of Prime Rib. But we know where to find that deal, right? We’re in Vegas, we need to gamble, and at the very least – we’re gonna eat cheap Prime Rib. That’s what this pick is. It’s the RIGHT place to go eat cheap Prime Rib.

I hear the Injuns kilt it. And the dogs have been howling ever since…

So to recap. This week’s selections are:

CHI +9.5
INDY -4
ATL +3.5
DC -3


Punish The Man like a 49er at the Seahawks home opener, 2004.
And tell him next time we won’t be so kind…


G. Scott Jones is a freelance writer who contributes regularly to Seahawks.Net. Reaction of any sort is always encouraged at schleprockhawk@sbcglobal.net.


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