Beat The Man - Week Six

The good news? Scott Jones is batting .500 against The Man. The bad news? This ain't a baseball column! Join our prognosticator as he tries to escape parity's clutches...

Last Week’s Results: 2-3
Season to Date: 9-9

We’ve been clubbing The Man with kid gloves… Rope-a-dope? Hell, we’ve practically been waltzing with that fool. He’s generally amused by us and enjoying “the vig”. What’s it gonna take to lay down a week of worthy selections and bust out of mediocrity?

Well let’s start with our beloved Hawks…


SEA +4.5 @ NE
That was quite a hangover Monday morning for all us Hawk fans, eh? Dazed and confused. We let one get away…

But here's the thing - we are obviously a better team than the Rams. Clearly, we met them head-on and dominated. As Mike Holmgren correctly noted in his Monday interview, if any one of those occurrences in the last 4 minutes doesn't happen their way - we win. (And btw, I support his decision on a high-percentage pass to hands-of-glue WR Bobby Engram. Hasselbeck missed him. That doesn’t make it a bad call. We complete that pass and the game is over. We MUST convert those situations if we’re to own Lombardi).

I give the Rams credit for making a succession of outstanding plays. They did in fact earn the win. But is it realistic to walk away from that game and think, "They're better than we are"? That's ridiculous. We totally outclassed them. Perhaps we then began thinking about the Patriots, didn't finish out the Rams, and they made every inch count.

From my perspective, we lost the game when Alexander failed to make ANOTHER 3rd and short run on our 2nd to last series. He makes half a yard - game over. And the yard was there to get (he is consistently inept in that department. Unless he can find a way to start treating those critical downs like the goal-line, I think we should start using Mo Morris in short yardage situations).

So it sucks. We lost. Now what?

Now what is we are kick-ass good and we experienced a malfunction. I think we recognize that and take it out on New England. It is JUST like the Seahawks to disappoint a public that's finally paying attention... and then beat the unbeatable. That's Dave Krieg. That's Zorn/Largent. That’s Paul Skansi. That's Seahawk football. And that’s why we love them. We love to kick Goliath in the groin. Our history is filled with shocking upsets (on both sides). We will bring our sling this Sunday, and we will shock the world. Of this I am certain. Put your heads together and see the truth. Ask not what your country can do for you…

The Patriots will fall in Week 6. Cuz that's what we do. The moment you don't think we're good enough. And I couldn't be more optimistic. Get off your a** and DECLARE! Think about it…


MINN –3.5 @ NOrl
So the Vikings did think about dorking out in the final minutes last Sunday (as well), and then they remembered that’s a silly thing to do. The smart thing, is to play to your potential (as the Hawks will this Sunday, ahem). I believe they will carry that forward here.

The Saints are the most unpredictable team in the NFL right now. And they’ve been that way for the last 3 years. I prefer to avoid them completely, either side, on my betting card. But here, I have to advantage what I think is a VERY bad spread. Last week was a bad spread vs. the Texans, and this week is a bad spread vs. the most poorly coached team in football. Sure, Deuce McAllister will be back on the field which may give New Orleans a boost. But we’re not betting on “maybe”s. We’re betting on the better team. The Purple Pants have averaged 10 pts more p/gm than the Aints. I see no reason for that to change here.

Viking drop the Saints…


JAX +2 vs KC
Ok, I really don’t know what the hell happened with the Jags last week. I mean, get real. How did that happen? It was 14-0 Chargers before you could say “How’s my money lookin’ on the Jagywires?” They got their butts kicked from start to finish. Just astonishing. The Chargers just can NOT be that good (more on that later).

So now the Cats look to right themselves against a struggling KC team that is, for some reason, favored by 2 on the road. The Man does not respect Jacksonville. Or he thinks you’re still in love with last season’s Chiefs team. Cuz THIS season’s Chiefs team is nothing at all like the X-factor version of 2003. As I correctly predicted in my pre-season preview, their offense can’t possibly get last years numbers again, and that Defense has done nothing to avoid exploitation. “Gunther” is fun to say when you’re drunk, but it doesn’t make a bad defense good just by showin’ up in red.

If Jacks-Del Rio can respectably contain Priest Holmes (remember, last week they gave up yards to Jesse Chatman but held Tomlinson to a not so mighty 19-56) and continue to improve their offensive scoring – they can pocket a win here. The Jags have GOT to get a win here before they face the Colts again next week… if they want to be for real. I think they’re for real. And hey, last week I said WR Reggie Williams was due for a break out, and he showed us 3-24 and a fumble. Obviously, I know exactly what I’m talking about, eh.


ATL –4.5 vs BOLTS
Atlanta just simply self-destructed last week. It was one of those games where a team comes in off a big win, things are really going their way, and they are simply not prepared that week for NFL football. It happens all the time. It’s called complacency. And I’ll tell ya, I really should have seen that coming. Halfway trough the game I was thinking (while watching their messy/turnover-prone play) I really should have seen this coming. This is a classic situation for failure. I am quite the fool to fail to recognize that and put this game on the BTM card. Quite the fool…

But they are back on the card this week because I remain firmly convinced they are a quality team. Bust out the broom, sweep up the mess and move on. I’m confident they’re able to recognize what’s necessary there. I’m confident they are superior to the suddenly point-scoring-pinball-machine from my hometown, San Diego. The Chargers just cannot be this good. They can’t possibly be as good as the last 2 weeks. I’m sorry, but that nonsense has got to correct itself as get realistic. That Offensive Line that scared off Eli Manning just can’t possibly handle the Atlanta attack, can it? Drew Brees won’t have time to think in the Georgia Dome, unless he’s lying on his back wishing they’d hand it to Tomlinson more often… even though he’s struggling against that stellar 3.0/carry Rush Defense (though Keith Brooking will likely miss this game and that is of enormous concern).

The Blackbirds are simply much, much better than the Electric Company. I see turnovers a-plenty going Atlanta’s way this week. They should control the game nicely. (Though, I am still wondering… why in the world do they use Warrick Dunn on the goal line and just refuse to give explosive collarbone-crusher T.J. Duckett the football? No touches for Duckett vs. a 17pt scoring Detroit team. A Detroit team that’s stout on the D-line because they have size there. A team that may have therefore been challenged by Duckett’s explosive inside power. A Duckett that’s averaging 5.0 per carry and has done virtually NOTHING to deserve being ignored in the game plan. What’s the deal there, Coach Mora?)


SF+10 @ NYJ
I like the Niners here, um… because they wear gold pants? No, it must be because they have a red stripe on their helmet and it reminds me of good beer (hurraaaayyyy beeeeer!). Hmm, nope, that’s not it. Well, I dunno – I just like the Niners getting 10 here is all.


Again, to recap:
SEA +4.5
MINN –3.5
JAX +2
ATL –4.5
SF +10

But who really cares about all these other games anyway? Like, do we have the time and energy to offer our attention to anything but the fact THE SEAHAWKS ARE PLAYING THE UNDEFEATED WORLD CHAMPIONS THIS SUNDAY?!!!!!!!!!!

Our play in this game will define our year…

We are ready for the Patriots. And ya better eat yer Wheaties…

G. Scott Jones is a freelance writer who contributes regularly to Seahawks.Net. Reaction of any sort is always encouraged at schleprockhawk@sbcglobal.net.


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