Flattland: "True Confessions"

In this installment of Trav Flatt's unfettered football fanaticism, our intrepid writer admits to a touch of apathy regarding his beloved Seahawks of late. Then again, a man who doesn't notice livestock charging down his town's main street may have larger issues...

I have a confession to make.

For the first time in the history of the known world (Or roughly thereabouts), there was a Seahawk game on television… and I chose not to watch it.

Naturally, the ‘Hawks being what they are, they decided to defeat the Minnesota Nordic Weenies and I didn’t get to see it. I’m still unconvinced that the result wouldn’t have been different had I actually taken the time and emotional investment to spend the day screaming at the television. This is how the Seahawks have been treating we fan people. Granted, I suppose I’m still cheered that they won a ‘Must Win’ game (How many ‘must win’ games have they lost? Are we loosening up the definition of ‘must’?), but that doesn’t mean that I’m not miffed at them.

The week prior, I was the sole Seahawk fan in a sports bar smack dab in the middle of Texas. I was quite definitely surrounded by, there toward the end, some pretty irritated Cowboy fans. Despite a possible danger to my life, I would NOT back down. I would NOT stop pointing out how, while Dallas sucked, Seattle did not.

And the ‘Hawks came back! From a long way down! In the fourth quarter, even! And, y’know what?! There was absolutely no point in doing so! Yay!

So, yeah. Seattle made a huge comeback only to piddle away a ten point lead with less than two minutes to go. They allowed the Dallas Cowboys to rack up over forty points on them.

Prior to the game, I had Cowboy fan friends fully expecting the Seahawks to push them around up and down the field. On paper, anyway, it looked like that’s how it was going to be. That’s one thing about these Seahawks… They can make weak teams look good. For Example: Miami, Dallas, Arizona, Buffalo.

In any event, this season has actually initiated a bit of a Crisis of Faith in me. Granted, I’ve never been one of the frothing overzealous rose-colored glasses fan. Nor have I been (Nor do I intend to become) a morbidly pessimistic gloom-and-doom anti-fan. No. My Crisis of Faith took a more subtle form. Over the past couple of weeks, I haven’t really given a damn.

Apathy is the antithesis of Fandom, though. The moment a ‘fan’ stops caring one way or another is the point at which fandom ceases. Perhaps I’m just jaded in the aftermath of so much hype. That’s a good excuse, at least. Long-term Seahawk Fans might better understand the sensation, though. How many promises has this franchise made? How many times have the Hawks overcome mediocrity with any consistency?

Devotion to an unswervingly sub-par-yet-rarely-horrid sports team is not unlike the Unrequited Love Story of sports fandom. They always give you JUST enough to keep you around hoping. For instance, just when you start to think that this team doesn’t love you back, they go and beat Minnesota. Instead of no hope, we keep being given little nips of it to help us keep telling ourselves that THIS is the year.

Meanwhile, I’m still hearing about that Monday night game. I can’t in the least blame the Cowboy fans. Naturally, I’d be rubbing it in possibly well into the next decade had the game ended with the Hawks on top. Though, I am a bit outnumbered. One insufferably obnoxious football fan to deal with is one thing. These Dallas fans are legion.

Other Local Sporting Events

It’s very unfortunate that I missed this Very Famous Local Event, but I have only recently learned of the existence of the Annual San Angelo, Texas Running of the Sheep. Yes. After hearing mention of this event, I uncovered a Texas Tourism Press Release (Yes.) which offered the following exciting information:

“San Angelo, Texas will achieve some of the thrills and excitement of the Spanish bull-run city of Pamplona when 200 sheep will run through the middle of town to nearby Fort Concho.”

I am horridly distraught that I missed out on the thrills and excitement. I am also mildly concerned that I failed to notice two hundred sheep running through the middle of town. In the event that I remember, I fully intend to cover this Very Famous Event next year. This is assuming the Running of the Sheep does not conflict to my planned attendance of various events sponsored by the Armadillo Racing Association (Yes).

Fire off your scintillating insights, inquiries, and sheep running strategies to flattman@earthlink.net


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