Rhyme and Reason

In the tradition of Walt Whitman, Robert Frost, Sylvia Plath and Dick Butkus, Seahawks.NET's Greg Renick spins a poetic web in which he summarizes his thoughts on his beloved Seahawks.

There once was a team in Seattle
Who prepared for a season of battle
To appease the masses
They must drop fewer passes
Or they might get put out with the cattle

His name? Alexander the Great!
Who usually rushes for 158
But on third down he sits
He can’t pick up the blitz
And the franchise tag was his fate

An offense near the top of the pack
But dropped passes slow the attack
A receiver named Koren
Who kept us from soarin’
Because he liked to tip a few back

21 years, the last playoff win
“Holy ***, is that how long its been?”
But to really please the fans
destroy the St. Louis Rams
So we can show our face in public again

A surly coordinator named Rhodes
Turned the “Prince of Defense” into a toad
He got a tattoo,
“I’ll stick with cover 2”
Now he’s reaping what has sowed

Birds on the edge of flight
Stadium lights burn through the night
But with no pass rush from the edge
Fans will shuffle back to the ledge
Of a building with considerable height

Super Bowl dreams born anew
A team takes the field in all blue
Oh what a party
To hoist the Lombardi
We all might just come unglued

Yes, Holmgren is still at the reigns
And still suffering through growing pains
Six years of this regime
It’s a mediocrity machine
And frustration runs through our veins

Lots of new faces on “D”
Sharper, Dyson and Chuck Darby
Please hold on to the lead
Or my forehead will bleed
From banging it repeatedly

Stevens is finally ready to emerge
Not the first time that this has been heard
He stands six foot seven
Should be red zone heaven
He’s ready, or at least that’s the word

They play their home games at Qwest
And it is ranked as one of the best
For the $7 beer
There should be plenty to cheer
And victory chants from Hawks Nest

Tim Ruskell is the new boss
And we don’t miss the guy who we lost
They replaced Bob Whitsett
With a guy who actually gets it
To end this losing holocaust

Water Jones was spotted in camp
They should put his face on a stamp!
Do we thank some genie?
For getting him to Cheney
Have you ever seen “Lady and the Tramp”?*

In ’04 the Seahawks were best
Of the won by default NFC West
But the Rams have our number
And the Cards no longer slumber
Who wins in ’05? Anyone’s guess

We want to see special teams
Kick returns splitting the seams
Can we block a punt?
Will that dog really hunt?
Will opposing returns get creamed?

We close the season in Lambeau
And it’s already cold with a chance of snow
And I have a clear vision
We may need a win for the division
I just wanted to let you all know

Where we will be come the New Year?
Reveling in victory or drowning sorrows in beer?
With tackles, passes and sacks
And a defense that always attacks
This team might give us something to cheer

The Browns wear helmets of orange
Oh darn, nothing rhymes with orange…


So, have you ever heard about that guy from Nantucket?

* - YOU try rhyming stuff with “amp”. So there.

Greg Renick writes for www.seahawkshuddle.com, and his articles are syndicated to Seahawks.NET. Feel free to contact him at grenick@cox.net.

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