Mac's NFL Picks - Week 16

In addition to his weekly predictions, Brian McIntyre has been making his list and checking it twice -- he's ready to release the Christmas lists of the NFL's most fabulous!

With Christmas just 4 days away, here are some last-minute gift ideas for a few of the more well-known figures in the NFL:

Kevin Everett – Continued success in your remarkable recovery.
Donovan McNabb – A one-way ticket to Minnesota.
Peyton Manning – More commercial opportunities. Seriously man, come out of your shell.
Tony Romo and Tom Brady – Nothing. Your cups have runneth over.
Derek Anderson – A long-term contract.
Purple Jesus – A long and healthy career.
Roy Williams – An interception in Week 17…and that you are horse-collared during the return.
Mario Williams – A tattoo that says "I Told You So".
Mike Holmgren and the Seattle Seahawks – 4.0 yards per carry the rest of the way.
New England Patriots fans who hate Eric Mangini for the "SpyGate" scandal – The ability for them to remember that the Patriots were still owed some payback for Bill Belichick quitting on the Jets in 2000, only to turn up in New England a short time later.
Ron Jaworski – The GM job he's been openly auditioning for each week.
Tony Kornheiser – A muzzle.
Gus Johnson – Prozac.
Rich Eisen – A lifetime membership in "The Player's Club".
Bryan Gumbel – The realization that Al Gore and Frank Gore are, in fact, two different people.
Brian Baldinger – A less frightening pinky finger.
Wayne Huzienga – A do-over after giving a 4-year contract to a serial quitter.
Joey Porter – Two muzzles. (Just in case he breaks the first one.)

Happy Holidays!

This Week: 1-0
Last Week: A gentlemen's 7-9
2007 Season: 108-111-6

Dallas (-10 ½) at Carolina – Be honest. If you had Jessica Simpson wearing your jersey in stands, and waiting to spend time with you after the game, wouldn't you be slightly distracted? That's what I thought. Pick: Cowboys -10 ½

Oakland at Jacksonville (-13) – The Jacksonville Jaguars are fighting for a playoff spot and the Oakland Raiders haven't won a road game in December since their head coach was in tee-ball. Pick: Jaguars -13

Houston at Indianapolis (-7) – The Colts have nothing to play for and neither do the Texans, which would normally mean the smart pick would be the Texans plus the points. However, Tony Dungy isn't resting his starters and the Colts always seem to slaughter the Texans in the RCA Dome. Pick: Colts -7

Kansas City at Detroit (-4 ½) – By the time this game starts, the Detroit Lions will have gone 49 days during this season without a win. Someone, anyone, please tell me that the "Fire Millen" chants have resumed! Pick: Chiefs +4 ½

Cleveland (-2 ½) at Cincinnati – With these "defenses", get ready for another shootout in the Buckeye state. With them giving just 2 ½ points, I like the Browns all day long against the highly dysfunctional Bengals. Pick: Browns -2 ½

Green Bay (-8 ½) at Chicago – A 59.5 passer rating last week against the NFL's 32nd-ranked pass defense sounds about right for everyone's favorite boozehound quarterback with a neck beard. Pick: Packers -8 ½

Philadelphia at New Orleans (-3) – Not even going on the road and quarterbacking the Eagles to an upset win over a vastly superior, hated division rival was enough to keep the issue of Donovan McNabb's future out of the Philadelphia newspapers. Pick: Saints -3

NY Giants (-3) at Buffalo – There's no chance I'd take a Tom Coughlin-coached team giving points on the road in December. I'm even less inclined to do that with the news that Buffalo Bills tight end Kevin Everett is planning on making his 1st trip back to Buffalo this weekend. Pick: Bills +3

Atlanta at Arizona (-10) – Is anyone surprised that Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner is lobbying for a chance to start again in 2008? Funny thing is you can't even see Brenda's lips moving. Pick: Cardinals -10 (I've given up on the Falcons banding together and covering a spread.)

Tampa Bay (-7) at San Francisco – Jeff Garcia says he has something to prove to the people of San Francisco. The last time he said that, he landed this former Playmate. So, uh, yeah. I'll be taking the Bucs. Pick: Buccaneers -7

Baltimore at Seattle (-10) – When the Seahawks defense faced with a rookie quarterback (Matt Moore) last week, they treated him like was the second coming of Brett Favre, only with leprosy.

This week they'll face Troy Smith, a rookie quarterback from my least favorite college or university, in his 1st NFL start. All I can say is that Seahawks defensive coordinator John Marshall better realize that guys like this need to be rattled. Pick: Seahawks -10

Miami at New England (-22 ½) – Look out New England! Here comes the last team to beat to beat you in the regular season! That tidbit was almost enough to get me to take the 22 ½ points Belichick's Boys are laying down this weekend. Pick: Patriots -22 ½

NY Jets at Tennessee (-9) – Chad Pennington is going to start for the Jets this week. What are the odds he finishes? Pick: Titans -9

Washington at Minnesota (-6 ½) – I know I've been all about the Vikings winning out and getting the #5 seed in the NFC Playoffs, but this one has "upset" written all over it. I really like the way Todd Collins is playing, which is something I haven't been able to say since 1993. Coincidentally, that was also the last year I paid for porn. Pick: Redskins +6 ½

Denver at San Diego (-8 ½) – The good news for the Chargers is that they have won four straight games and are heating up at exactly the right time. The better news is that Marty Schottenheimer isn't on the sidelines to screw it up this January. Pick: Chargers -8 ½ (That honor goes to Norv Turner this year.)


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