It was a classic line from a classic movie, and it perfectly summed up how I felt after the Lions signing of Culpepper.
Hey, I have nothing against Culpepper and I wish him nothing but the best. It's just strange to me that of the 100+ quarterbacks in an NFL training camp this summer, Culpepper wasn't one of them. Or of the 90 or so quarterbacks on NFL active rosters at the start of the season, Culpepper wasn't one of them.
Yet, in November, when the Detroit Lions are winless, had already sacked the team president and placed starting quarterback Jon Kitna on injured reserve with a back injury of let's just say questionable existence, they go out and sign a guy who had announced he was retiring a few weeks earlier?
It's a move only the Lions could make.
Over the final eight meaningless games, the Lions are going to put Culpepper under center, denying whoever is hired to clean up Matt Millen's mess the opportunity to really see what the organization has in fourth-year quarterback Dan Orlovsky and last year's 2nd round pick, Drew Stanton.
Are we sure Matt Millen already cleared out his desk? Pick: Jaguars -7
New Orleans at Atlanta (-1) – Matty Ryan and the Falcons are one of the great stories of the 2008 season, but in what's essentially a pick ‘em game, I can't go against Drew Brees. What he's done without Marques Colston, Jeremy Shockey and Reggie Bush for stretches of this season has been nothing short of miraculous. Pick: Saints +1
Tennessee (-3) at Chicago – Being taken to overtime last week was a sign that somewhere along the way, some team will step up and put a blemish on the Titans' record. That team won't be the Rex Grossman-led Chicago Bears. Pick: Titans -3
Baltimore (-1) at Houston – The Ravens are in the hunt for a playoff spot in the AFC, but there's a quirky part of their schedule that may pose some problems in the second half of the season: They have yet to play a non-conference game. That means that in the second half of the season, 4 of their final 7 games will come against the NFC East. Pick: Ravens -1
Seattle at Miami (-9) – The good news for the Seahawks this week was that Matt Hasselbeck will be back soon and All-Pro defensive end Patrick Kerney won't be placed on injured reserve. The bad news is that they're 2-6 and heading to the East Coast to play a team that runs a unconventional offense. Pick: Seahawks +9 (Seattle loses, but covers.)
Green Bay at Minnesota (-2 ½) – Since Packers head coach Mike McCarthy and Vikings head coach Brad Childress, this has been a one-sided rivalry, with the Packers winning all 5 contests. The Packers were impressive last Sunday against Tennessee, so facing the Vikings, who'll likely be without Jared Allen, should be a breeze. Pick: Packers +2 ½
Buffalo at New England (-4) – New England has won 10 straight over the Bills and last season, outscored the Bills 94-17 in their two meetings. Matt Cassel has played well at home (89.3 passer rating) and the Bills are going to be without 4 key starters for this game. In the words of Nigel Tufnel, "These go to eleven". Pick: Patriots -4
St. Louis at NY Jets (-8) – Brett Favre and Marc Bulger vs. the 24th (Jets) and 28th (Rams) ranked pass defenses should keep the Meadowlands scoreboard operator busy on Sunday. Take the Jets and the over. Pick: Jets -8
Carolina (-9) at Oakland – Oakland has fired Lane Kiffin, made multiple changes to the lineup, and waived DeAngelo Hall whilst indicating other high-priced players (Javon Walker, Tommy Kelly) may be next. Can they fire the owner? Pick: Panthers -9
Indianapolis at Pittsburgh (-3) – Indianapolis has no running game, which means James Harrison and LaMarr Woodley can pin their ears back and met up wherever #18 is. It's surreal to think about it, but there's a very good chance the Colts will be below .500 midway through November. Pick: Steelers -3
Kansas City at San Diego (-15) – Before the season, I thought the San Diego Chargers would run away with the AFC West and represent the AFC in Super Bowl XLIII.
Today, they're 3-5. (Another reason to not wager based on these picks)
Given how young the Chiefs are (19 rookies) and that they're starting Tyler Thigpen at quarterback, Jamaal Charles at running back and a pair of rookies at cornerback, this is a game that the team I thought the Chargers were before the season would easily cover.
Today, I'm not sure they can. Pick: Chiefs +15
NY Giants at Philadelphia (-3) – Here's why sports fans in Pennsylvania may need new livers.
1. Phillies fans are still celebrating their World Series title.
2. Penn State can move into 1st or 2nd in the BCS with a win over Iowa and a Texas Tech loss on Saturday night.
3. The Steelers host a 4:15pm game on Sunday afternoon, while the Iggles host an 8:15pm game on Sunday night, allowing fans of both teams way too much time to tailgate.
Weekends like this make me wish Yuengling was a publicly-traded company. Pick: Eagles -3
San Francisco at Arizona (-10) – The Rams and Seahawks are likely to lose in their trips to the East Coast this week, so the 5-3 Arizona Cardinals will know on Monday night that they only really need to win two more games this season to clinch the NFC West. Pick: Cardinals -10
This week: 0-1
Last week: 8-6
2008 Season: 61-69-1
Brian McIntyre lives in the Boston area. In addition to writing for Seahawks.Net, Brian maintains his own blog (www.macsfootballblog.com) and charts games for Football Outsiders. If you'd like to e-mail Brian, you may do so here.