"DALLAS -- A judge listened to testimony Monday and is expected to rule soon whether former Dallas Cowboy Deion Sanders owes money to a body shop for work done on his vintage 1961 Lincoln Continental convertible.
The owner of the repair shop said Sanders wanted to pay only $1,500 of the $4,265.57 bill, saying that Jesus had informed him that was all he needed to pay."
Apparently, not only can Jesus win Super Bowls, but he can also give 66% discounts on car repair. It's also quite interesting that this story pops up at around the same time Gregg Easterbrook reports in a recent TMQ that Jesus was involved in the Frank Reich-led Buffalo Bill miracle comeback against the former Houston Oilers.
Jesus not only helps players catch touchdown passes, dunk basketballs, or throw no-hitters, but apparently he's now helping multi-millionaires get discounts they need to survive in today's economy.
And you thought Santa Claus had a killer schedule.
"It's the 'Praise Jesus' discount,'' attorney Ed Edson told The Dallas Morning News in Monday's editions.
This is bound to start a national craze. I can see it now.
After throwing his 5 interceptions in 2 games, Kordell Stewart says, "Jesus told me to give the ball back to Bret Farve. I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do."
Winona Ryder takes the stand, "Jesus told me that I work hard for my money and I shouldn't spend it on items that I could just as easily take. It's not stealing if it's helping me in my time of need."
Or is it a sign of a deeper problem? In sports contests, it has always been acceptable (although a highly unlikely proposal) that a higher power had an influential hand in determining the outcome. Is it a sign of a new age of sports stars that will spin their own foibles and short-sighted judgments into the advice of Jesus or whatever that person's higher power may be named?
This goes far beyond whether Reggie White had a right to publicly pass judgment on homosexuals based on his religious beliefs. For the bar is now set at whether Bam Morris could have used the "Jesus Excuse" for his marijuana problems.
"…he (Sanders) refused to pay the invoice amount, handing Compton a $1,500 check and saying, "Praise Jesus ... I follow what in my heart I'm told to pay.''
To be sure, Deion Sanders is crazy. Not yet Michael Jackson-loopy, but this incident does nothing but endear him to the likes of Hapgood or Randle P. McMurphy. But, does that mean that anyone who uses that excuse now needs psychoanalytic treatment? Not at all. It just means that Bible-thumpers and evangelical followers now get lumped in with the likes of Neon Deion every time they use the "Jesus Excuse". Pity those poor people. No "Jesus Excuse" can save them now.
That's the beauty and the shame of the "Jesus Excuse". It's an absolute. What if "Jesus" really told Kijana Carter not to live up to his potential? How can any mortal, fallible human being call the person that uses the "Jesus Excuse" a liar? That means that anyone thanking Jesus for giving strength, courage, and enlightenment now falls under the same category as Deion, who has daily conversations with the Almighty?
Besides, something tells me that most Born Again Christians wouldn't ask Jesus for a 66% discount on their car payments.
Just answer me this. Could Bill Cowher have used a "Jesus Excuse" for the loss to the Patriots in the AFC Championship game two years ago and gotten away with it?
How did this episode end up?
"A judge ruled in favor of Deion Sanders on Monday, saying the former Dallas Cowboy paid the full amount he had authorized for repairs on his vintage 1961 Lincoln Continental convertible."
Jesus Excuse 1 Devil-Society 0
- The Kansas City Chiefs still aren't sure whether they will extend Priest Holmes' contract. This is just a microcosm of why they haven't been to the Super Bowl in over 30 years.
- Until Donovan McNabb plays in a Super Bowl, I don't think he can be considered any more successful a quarterback than Kordell Stewart.
- It had to be a sign of the times to come when Michael "Chalk Dust" Irvin joined NFL Gameday. Now, Rush Limbaugh joins the cast of ESPN's Sunday Night Countdown. Yet, the network sticks savvy football pundits Mark Malone, Mike Golic, and Merril Hoge in the corner.
Post of the Week
Frozen Steel - I think the biggest problem we have in this country now is that if someone disagrees with a person politically they are automatically a warmonger, or baby killer, an unpatriotic communist, or tree hugging greenie or some other such crap. It isn't that simple folks...if you don't want to watch the show guess what....don't watch the damned show...same if it was Ralph Nader, or George Carville who were going to do the commentary. It is way to simplistic however to start plastering names on anyone who would watch because you are upset.