Mocking the mock drafts

With one of the Steelers' more interesting drafts in the book, Ryan Wilson shares his thoughts on the 2007 rookies, looks back at the 2006 class, and peeks ahead at some players that might be on the team's radar.

Mike Judge, the genius behind Beavis and Butthead and King of the Hill also wrote Idiocracy, a movie that had the potential to be much better than it was, especially given the premise:
Private Joe Bowers (Luke Wilson), the definition of 'average American', is selected by the Pentagon to be the guinea pig for a top-secret hibernation program. Forgotten, he awakes 500 years in the future. By this time, stupid people have outbred intelligent people; the world is (barely) run by morons--and Joe [is] the smartest person in America.
You have to wonder if life is imitating art. I partly blame our slow -- but seemingly inevitable -- devolution as a species on the brainiacs behind Cold Pizza First Take and whoever is responsible for thinking Christmas decorations should go up sometime around Halloween. Nobody has an attention span for anything.

I mention this because the 2007 NFL Draft has been in the books for nine days and the internets are already subjecting us to 2008 mock drafts. Todd McShay (subscription required) had his picks plastered on ESPN's home page earlier this week, and Andrew Perloff shares his selections on his shiny new SI.com blog.

And in case you're wondering, Perloff had the Pittsburgh Steelers taking Georgia cornerback Paul Oliver with the 19th pick and offered this insightful quip: "I wasn't sure whether to put the Steelers at No. 28 or No. 8. All depends on Mike Tomlin."

If you needed convincing, it's comments like this that make such exercises a complete waste of time. That said, I might as well get in on the action. In an effort to differentiate SteelCityInsider.com from all the other NFL football sites, I present you with the very first 2009 Mock Draft (Picks 1-15):

Nate Longshore, QB, California
Alex Boone, OT, Ohio State
Calais Campbell, DE, University of Miami
Justin King, CB, Penn State
Brian Cushing, LB, USC
Mario Urrutia, WR, Louisville
Ray Rice, RB, Rutgers
Ryan Clady, OT, Boise State
Roy Miller, DT, Texas
Courtney Greene, FS, Rutgers
James Laurinaitis, LB, Ohio State
Michael Hamlin, SS, Clemson
DeSean Jackson, WR, California
Martellus Bennett, TE, Texas A & M
Bobby Reid, QB, Oklahoma State
I have the Steelers going 11-5 in 2007, but falling to 7-9 in 2008 (I'll explain my reasons in a column set to be published in June '08). With the 15th-overall pick in the 2009 draft, Pittsburgh will take quarterback Bobby Reid, effectively ending what will prove to be a very disappointing Ben Roethlisberger Era. Put it on the board.

Actually, I fully expect every one of these predictions to be ridiculously off base, just like the newly released 2008 mocks cited above … and most mock drafts released in the days and weeks before the actual draft. But hey, it's not about being right … it's about being first. Or something like that.

*******
It's always fun to go back and read what you wrote and see how it jibes with reality. About a year ago, I reviewed the Steelers' 2006 draft class for SCI, and commented on the incoming rookies based on their highlight footage. Here are some choice nuggets from that May 20, 2006 column:
Anthony Smith
Smith knocks the crap out of people. And given that his team won one game last season, I'm guessing he got plenty of practice. You know, a lot is made of guys needing time to learn the safety position in the NFL, but think about it this way: Syracuse's defense spent so much time on the field it's basically like Smith squeezed 1.5 seasons into 11 games. Using this logic, he should be starting by Week 8.

Orien Harris
Harris looked great. Of course most of the highlights were against Rutgers and Georgia Tech, so that's important to keep in mind. The rest of the highlights were of him tackling Virginia Tech's Cedric Humes on various plays for minimal gains. That's Steelers' seventh-round draft pick Cedric Humes. I don't know how to feel about that one.

Charles Davis
Davis gets my vote for having the worst highlight film ever made. Nothing like a bunch of seven yard gains that end in pile-driver tackles to make you look really mediocre. The first thing I noticed about Davis is that he's a giant. The very next thing I noticed is that he goes down pretty easily. Heath Miller has an amazing knack for running people over and that's part of what makes him so good. If Davis can't break tackles in his highlight video, then I hate to think what he'll look like in a real game. Yikes.

Oh, good times. (If you want to see the 2007 Steelers' draft class highlight reel, knock yourself out.)

Luckily, after viewing the videos -- and let's be honest, it's damn near impossible to tell how good a player might be just from watching his best plays … well, unless you're Charles Davis -- I still think Matt Spaeth is going to be a big contributor next season. And I don't mean on some other team's practice squad. My only regret is that he wasn't assigned Matt Kranchick's old number. You know, just to get all the Kranchick supporters all lathered up. Hopefully, Spaeth will be able to live up to the legacy that comes with wearing No. 89.

A few other observations from an afternoon spent watching video montages:

… Say what you want about Timmons the player, did anybody else notice that he is the anti-Joey Porter. He acts like it's the most normal thing in the world to make big plays. The sequence usually goes something like this: Timmons smacks the ball carrier behind the line of scrimmage. Timmons stands up. Timmons returns to the huddle. Repeat. Oh, and good news, he won't hold out either. You have Drew Rosenhaus' word on it.

Daniel Sepulveda, who already has the nicknames: ROBO-PUNTER, DARTH VEDA, and THE PUNTISHER, only needs one highlight. I say the Heinz Field folks in charge of such things play this clip on JumboTron before every Sepulveda punt. I imagine it getting to the point where Steelers fans start booing successful Pittsburgh third-down conversions.

William Gay was the only guy not to have any highlights -- I don't know what to make of that -- but apparently the team loves him:

Gay isn't a candidate to start, but the Steelers already have specific special-teams assignments and expectations in mind for him.

[defensive backs coach Ray] Horton included "gunner," "flier" and "kickoff guy" (covering, not returning) in mentioning Gay in the same breath as special-teams legend Chidi Iwuoma.

"He'll be a core special-teams player," Horton said of Gay.

To me, this is great news … and potentially bad news. For Gay to make the team, somebody currently on the roster has to go. The obvious choice is Chidi Iwuoma, since Gay sounds like a younger, healthier version. But if last year taught us anything, it's that there is only one Chidi. I suppose Anthony Madison could also be a casualty, but that's assuming he would've made the team out of camp. He was only on the 53-man roster late in 2006 because of injuries. Another, option -- though unlikely -- might be Ricardo Colclough.

The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review's Mike Prisuta touched on the idea last week:

Colclough became the personification of special-teams incompetence a year ago, when seemingly only Bill Cowher thought Colclough was capable of returning punts. …

"He has speed, strength, smarts; he's got what you want," Horton said. "Now, it's time to step up and show what you can do on the field." The draft has provided an alternative in the event Colclough remains reluctant to come around.

And that's the thing: Will Colclough finally get it this year? He really hasn't done anything to distinguish himself as a second-round pick during his three-year career. I'm a Colclough fan, and thought he was more consistent in the secondary last year than ever before. But for a player heralded as a return threat coming out of college, he's been utterly forgettable.

I don't know if Mike Tomlin would cut Colclough in training camp -- the coaches seem to think he has way too much athleticism to give up on him just yet -- but it could be one more test for the first year head coach. The first was dealing with Joey Porter, and the second will be dealing with Alan Faneca. So far, so good, but honeymoons are historically short-lived in Pittsburgh. Just ask Ricardo Colclough.

… I really hope Dallas Baker works out -- and the roster makeup seems to be in his favor -- but when I watch his highlights, two words come to mind: Fred and Gibson.

*******
Finally, ESPN.com Page 2 columnist DJ Gallo has some thoughts on the draft and, by far, his best line concerns Cleveland's new Tim Couch (paraphrasing): "Brady Quinn lucked out by not going to a crappy team at No. 3. Instead, he went to a much better team at 22."

Yeah, that Brady Quinn just can't catch a break. He better get used to it.


Steel City Insider Top Stories

\r\n\r\n\r\nMike Judge, the genius behind Beavis and Butthead and King of the Hill also wrote Idiocracy, a movie that had the potential to be much better than it was, especially given the premise: \r\n\r\n
Private Joe Bowers (Luke Wilson), the definition of 'average American', is selected by the Pentagon to be the guinea pig for a top-secret hibernation program. Forgotten, he awakes 500 years in the future. By this time, stupid people have outbred intelligent people; the world is (barely) run by morons--and Joe [is] the smartest person in America.
You have to wonder if life is imitating art. I partly blame our slow -- but seemingly inevitable -- devolution as a species on the brainiacs behind Cold Pizza First Take and whoever is responsible for thinking Christmas decorations should go up sometime around Halloween. Nobody has an attention span for anything. \r\n\r\n

I mention this because the 2007 NFL Draft has been in the books for nine days and the internets are already subjecting us to 2008 mock drafts. Todd McShay (subscription required) had his picks plastered on ESPN's home page earlier this week, and Andrew Perloff shares his selections on his shiny new SI.com blog. \r\n\r\n

And in case you're wondering, Perloff had the Pittsburgh Steelers taking Georgia cornerback Paul Oliver with the 19th pick and offered this insightful quip: \"I wasn't sure whether to put the Steelers at No. 28 or No. 8. All depends on Mike Tomlin.\" \r\n\r\n

If you needed convincing, it's comments like this that make such exercises a complete waste of time. That said, I might as well get in on the action. In an effort to differentiate SteelCityInsider.com from all the other NFL football sites, I present you with the very first 2009 Mock Draft (Picks 1-15): \r\n\r\n

Nate Longshore, QB, California
Alex Boone, OT, Ohio State
Calais Campbell, DE, University of Miami
Justin King, CB, Penn State
Brian Cushing, LB, USC
Mario Urrutia, WR, Louisville
Ray Rice, RB, Rutgers
Ryan Clady, OT, Boise State
Roy Miller, DT, Texas
Courtney Greene, FS, Rutgers
James Laurinaitis, LB, Ohio State
Michael Hamlin, SS, Clemson
DeSean Jackson, WR, California
Martellus Bennett, TE, Texas A & M
Bobby Reid, QB, Oklahoma State
I have the Steelers going 11-5 in 2007, but falling to 7-9 in 2008 (I'll explain my reasons in a column set to be published in June '08). With the 15th-overall pick in the 2009 draft, Pittsburgh will take quarterback Bobby Reid, effectively ending what will prove to be a very disappointing Ben Roethlisberger Era. Put it on the board. \r\n\r\n

Actually, I fully expect every one of these predictions to be ridiculously off base, just like the newly released 2008 mocks cited above … and most mock drafts released in the days and weeks before the actual draft. But hey, it's not about being right … it's about being first. Or something like that. \r\n\r\n

*******
\r\n\r\nIt's always fun to go back and read what you wrote and see how it jibes with reality. About a year ago, I reviewed the Steelers' 2006 draft class for SCI, and commented on the incoming rookies based on their highlight footage. Here are some choice nuggets from that May 20, 2006 column: \r\n\r\n
Anthony Smith
Smith knocks the crap out of people. And given that his team won one game last season, I'm guessing he got plenty of practice. You know, a lot is made of guys needing time to learn the safety position in the NFL, but think about it this way: Syracuse's defense spent so much time on the field it's basically like Smith squeezed 1.5 seasons into 11 games. Using this logic, he should be starting by Week 8. \r\n\r\n

Orien Harris
Harris looked great. Of course most of the highlights were against Rutgers and Georgia Tech, so that's important to keep in mind. The rest of the highlights were of him tackling Virginia Tech's Cedric Humes on various plays for minimal gains. That's Steelers' seventh-round draft pick Cedric Humes. I don't know how to feel about that one. \r\n\r\n

Charles Davis
Davis gets my vote for having the worst highlight film ever made. Nothing like a bunch of seven yard gains that end in pile-driver tackles to make you look really mediocre. The first thing I noticed about Davis is that he's a giant. The very next thing I noticed is that he goes down pretty easily. Heath Miller has an amazing knack for running people over and that's part of what makes him so good. If Davis can't break tackles in his highlight video, then I hate to think what he'll look like in a real game. Yikes.

Oh, good times. (If you want to see the 2007 Steelers' draft class highlight reel, knock yourself out.) \r\n\r\n

Luckily, after viewing the videos -- and let's be honest, it's damn near impossible to tell how good a player might be just from watching his best plays … well, unless you're Charles Davis -- I still think Matt Spaeth is going to be a big contributor next season. And I don't mean on some other team's practice squad. My only regret is that he wasn't assigned Matt Kranchick's old number. You know, just to get all the Kranchick supporters all lathered up. Hopefully, Spaeth will be able to live up to the legacy that comes with wearing No. 89. \r\n\r\n

A few other observations from an afternoon spent watching video montages: \r\n\r\n

… Say what you want about Timmons the player, did anybody else notice that he is the anti-Joey Porter. He acts like it's the most normal thing in the world to make big plays. The sequence usually goes something like this: Timmons smacks the ball carrier behind the line of scrimmage. Timmons stands up. Timmons returns to the huddle. Repeat. Oh, and good news, he won't hold out either. You have Drew Rosenhaus' word on it. \r\n\r\n

Daniel Sepulveda, who already has the nicknames: ROBO-PUNTER, DARTH VEDA, and THE PUNTISHER, only needs one highlight. I say the Heinz Field folks in charge of such things play this clip on JumboTron before every Sepulveda punt. I imagine it getting to the point where Steelers fans start booing successful Pittsburgh third-down conversions. \r\n\r\n

William Gay was the only guy not to have any highlights -- I don't know what to make of that -- but apparently the team loves him: \r\n\r\n

Gay isn't a candidate to start, but the Steelers already have specific special-teams assignments and expectations in mind for him. \r\n\r\n

[defensive backs coach Ray] Horton included \"gunner,\" \"flier\" and \"kickoff guy\" (covering, not returning) in mentioning Gay in the same breath as special-teams legend Chidi Iwuoma. \r\n\r\n

\"He'll be a core special-teams player,\" Horton said of Gay.

To me, this is great news … and potentially bad news. For Gay to make the team, somebody currently on the roster has to go. The obvious choice is Chidi Iwuoma, since Gay sounds like a younger, healthier version. But if last year taught us anything, it's that there is only one Chidi. I suppose Anthony Madison could also be a casualty, but that's assuming he would've made the team out of camp. He was only on the 53-man roster late in 2006 because of injuries. Another, option -- though unlikely -- might be Ricardo Colclough. \r\n\r\n

The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review's Mike Prisuta touched on the idea last week: \r\n\r\n

Colclough became the personification of special-teams incompetence a year ago, when seemingly only Bill Cowher thought Colclough was capable of returning punts. … \r\n\r\n

\"He has speed, strength, smarts; he's got what you want,\" Horton said. \"Now, it's time to step up and show what you can do on the field.\" The draft has provided an alternative in the event Colclough remains reluctant to come around.

And that's the thing: Will Colclough finally get it this year? He really hasn't done anything to distinguish himself as a second-round pick during his three-year career. I'm a Colclough fan, and thought he was more consistent in the secondary last year than ever before. But for a player heralded as a return threat coming out of college, he's been utterly forgettable. \r\n\r\n

I don't know if Mike Tomlin would cut Colclough in training camp -- the coaches seem to think he has way too much athleticism to give up on him just yet -- but it could be one more test for the first year head coach. The first was dealing with Joey Porter, and the second will be dealing with Alan Faneca. So far, so good, but honeymoons are historically short-lived in Pittsburgh. Just ask Ricardo Colclough. \r\n\r\n

… I really hope Dallas Baker works out -- and the roster makeup seems to be in his favor -- but when I watch his highlights, two words come to mind: Fred and Gibson. \r\n\r\n

*******
\r\n\r\nFinally, ESPN.com Page 2 columnist DJ Gallo has some thoughts on the draft and, by far, his best line concerns Cleveland's new Tim Couch (paraphrasing): \"Brady Quinn lucked out by not going to a crappy team at No. 3. Instead, he went to a much better team at 22.\" \r\n\r\n

Yeah, that Brady Quinn just can't catch a break. 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