- Oakland - Reports out of Oakland link the city's largest mafia ring with a recent hit on a Viagra plant.
- Philadelphia - The class of the NFC…that's not saying much.
- San Diego - Only Priest Holmes is running better than LaDainian Tomlinson.
- New England - They won't fall far. Oh, Tom Brady's dating Tara Reid…FYI.
- Tampa Bay - Made quick work of the Cincinnati kittens.
- Miami - Hmm…where was the run defense? Oh yeah, trampled under foot.
- Green Bay - Wisconsin is the new hot spot for Hollywood-scripted drama.
- New Orleans - Very surprising loss in Detroit. Now they must deal with rejuvenated Pittsburgh.
- Kansas City - I believe…the defense is still too awful.
- San Francisco - NFL scheduled Bye Week. Terrell Owens complains that he should've been involved in that decision.
- Pittsburgh - They move up to the top 12. Now stay there dammit.
- Indianapolis - Just another week for Peyton Manning to oil the old arm.
- Buffalo - Drew Bledsoe doesn't equal wins, no matter how well he plays.
- Chicago - What is happening to this defense? First mental breakdowns and now season-ending injuries.
- Denver - You almost made me a believer Brian Griese. And then you tripped over Scruffy.
- Atlanta - Paging Mr. Vick. Mercury, the Flash, and Quicksilver are here for your 1 o'clock seminar.
- Cleveland - Blew it big time and they know it.
- Dallas - Won't be consistent until Quincy Carter starts playing like Kordell Stewart.
- Arizona - Will someone please give Jake Plummer an offense to thrive in?
- Jacksonville - Stacey Mack torches the Jets. Stacey Mack?
- Carolina - Their stay in the top half was brief.
- Tennessee - Ouch. And the injuries hurt too.
- Seattle - Shaun Alexander busts out finally. We won't see him again for another 3 weeks.
- Washington - When they get a real quarterback, watch out!.
- NY Giants - I will say it again, Kerry Collins is the most overrated quarterback in the league.
- St. Louis - No where to go but down.
- Detroit - Big win. Quality win. Four of the most beautiful words Matt Millen has ever heard.
- Minnesota - Randy probably wishes he were behind bars because he's playing like it.
- Baltimore - Don't get too excited. Denver's been cursed by the Ravens for the past 3 years.
- NY Jets - They're finally benching Vinny, but it may be too late.
- Houston - I would put them higher, but I'm not psychotic.
- Cincinnati - Could there be a more pathetic franchise in all of sports?
The Complete Power Core Rankings: Week 5
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