Listen to enough sports talk radio and inevitably the topic of "best this" or "best that" is sure to come up. And before you get your camo undies in a bunch, I relied on nothing scientific in compiling my list of top team names. This is one man's opinion (mine), and if you disagree . . . well, build your own damn list and then post it on the North American Hunter forum.
One note before I begin: My list is based solely on the team name itself; the school's logo didn't enter into my decision. So while I really like the logo (above), I didn't reward schools of higher learning for such uninspired team names such as the Lake Forest College Foresters (Illinois).
8. Evergreen State College Geoducks (Washington). Evidently, a geoduck is a species of very large (and edible?) saltwater clam. And I was pleasantly surprised to see that the school logo (above) is just as cool as the nickname. Note: I don't like the taste of duck, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like geoduck either.
7. Mary Baldwin College Fighting Squirrels (Virginia). This is the first of three "fighting" names in my list, and while I appreciate the feistiness of a pissed-off squirrel (after all, I live in the land of the Golden Gophers), it doesn't crack the top five.
6. IPFW Mastodons (Indiana). Never heard of IPFW? Me neither. It stands for Indiana University - Purdue University Fort Wayne. A mastodon is an extinct mammal similar to today's elephant, and while I have no desire to shoot an elephant, Caveman Me would've loved stalking a mastodon with my recurve bow.
5. Muskingum University Fighting Muskies (Ohio). I'm including the Fighting Muskies on this list simply because I know from experience that targeting muskies is more hunting than fishing. Watching for a "muskie follow" behind your lure is much like keeping an eye out for a big buck below your treestand. Your knees shake the same.
4. TCU Horned Frogs (Texas). TCU stands for Texas Christian University, and the horned frog name refers to a Texas horned lizard. When it comes to the circle of life, a horned frog (lizard) confuses would-be predators by squirting an aimed stream of foul-tasting blood up to 5 feet from the corners of its eyes and mouth. Disgusting but cool.
3. Grand Canyon University Lopes (Arizona). Without question one of the most underrated big game animals is the antelope/pronghorn. Whether you choose to spot-and-stalk them with a firearm (tricky) or a bow (nearly impossible), this prairie-dwelling speedster should be on every hunter's bucket list. Think "Fast & Furious" in camo and you're on the right track.
2. Campbell University Fighting Camels (North Carolina). I ranked this school so high because let's face it: a fighting camel will kick the ass of a fighting squirrel or a fighting muskie any day of the week. I've had enough close-calls with moo cows during turkey and whitetail hunts to never underestimate the power and speed of super-sized four-legged beasts. An angry camel should be avoided at all costs.
1. SDSU Jackrabbits (South Dakota). I doubt there's anything on the planet tougher to shoot than a zigzagging jackrabbit, and for that reason South Dakota State University is my No. 1. I bowhunt more days for deer and turkeys in SD than any other state, and whenever I see a jackrabbit (usually in the headlights of my pickup), I'm amazed at their speed and agility. If they had sharp canines and an aggressive disposition, jackrabbits would sit atop the food chain.