The Information Age was supposed to bring us closer as a people.
Supposed to usher in a new era, one where people could share thoughts and ideas freely, research projects, and solve dilemmas with the vast combined knowledge of the world at our fingertips.
Instead we got Kim Kardashian, the selfie, and, in the case of hunters, a never-ending barrage of ignorant rants and dreadful comments against us and what we do.
So here we go:
1. Would you shoot Bambi?
Evoking Bambi or any other Walt Disney character as an argument against hunting is not only stupid; it makes no sense whatsoever. Humans don’t live in a cartoon world where animals sing and dance.
Unless you’re on acid.
Likewise cartoons aren’t real and you can’t actually shoot them. Ok, technically you could shoot a cartoon playing on a TV or computer screen but that’s about as dumb as using The Lion King as an argument against hunting.
TVs and computers cost money.
And shooting them does a lot of damage to them.
2. Hunting is psychotic.
No, arguing against an ethical, legal, and scientifically proven form of conservation is psychotic as in it makes no sense to do so. This because, according to Wikipedia (Yeah, Information Age! Wait…most of the stuff on there is fake? Oh well.), “Psychosis refers to an abnormal condition of the mind described as involving a loss of contact with reality.” The reality is that hunting is the aforementioned is ethical, legal, and scientifically sound. Arguing against it would be like arguing against gravity.
Oh, you don’t like that either.
Then feel free to rant against it.
3. I bet you wouldn’t be so tough without your gun!
Which is why I hunt with one.
Humans aren’t really designed to kill without the aid of tools. This just one of those things that separates us from animals.
You see kids, early man realized that by striking flint stones against one another…
4. I hope Karma kicks your ass for killing that animal.
If you understood how Karma worked you’d understand that you just screwed yourself by wishing ill of me.
Look it up.
I’ll wait here.
5. Why don’t you get your meat at a grocery store like normal people?
Because I, like farmers and other hunters, understand that meat doesn’t come from a grocery store. It comes from an animal.
A dead one.
6. How would you like it if you were hunted?
Which is why I left General Zaroff’s island as fast as I could.
Don’t get my joke?
Look it up.
Again, I’ll wait for you to do so.
7. Animals were here first!
But before they were here there were dinosaurs.
And before them just a bunch of plants.
And before that a bunch of random cells…so where are you going with this?
8. Would you shoot your Grandfather?
And before he was dead he was a live human and murder is illegal.
Hunting animals, especially older ones past their prime, is not only not murder but sound conservation.
9. That animal was endangered! What you’re doing is illegal!
You really think I’d do something illegal then post proof of my doing so on Social Media?
No one’s that dumb…Huh…They are?…People post illegal activities on Social Media all the time?
Well, that’s pretty stupid.
I’m not one of those people and most hunters aren’t either.
Learn the law before you accuse someone of breaking it.
10. You’re shooting that animal won’t make your dick any bigger!